Ring ring...

Ring, ring, ring

"Hello, thank you for calling the pharmacy.  This is CrazyRxMan.  How may I help you?"

"How much is a postage stamp?"

"This is the pharmacy."

"Well, don't YOU know?  You send out a lot of letters, don't you?!"

"Ma'am, I'm trying to fill prescriptions.  I'm sure the post office would be happy to..."

Lady hangs up...  <CLICK>

Ring, ring...

"Hello, thank you for calling the pharmacy.  This is CrazyRxMan.  How may I help you?"

SAME LADY as postage stamp lady: "Is the meat on sale today?"

"Ma'am, this is the pharmacy.  I don't know what's on sale in the grocery today..."

Lady hangs up...  <CLICK>

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring  (we're really busy)....

"Hello, thank you for calling the pharmacy.  This is CrazyRxMan.  How may I help you?"

"What's the maximum amount I can put on a gift card?"

"Sir, this is the pharmacy.  I don't know the answer to your question but I'm sure customer service could answer your question.  Let me transfer you to them."

<Transfer to Customer Service>

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, freaking ring

"Hello, thank you for calling the pharmacy.  This is CrazyRxMan.  How may I help you?"

"How much is this prescription for Singulair going to cost me?"

"Ma'am, I can only give you the cash price.  I don't know what your insurance will charge as a co-pay..."

Ring, ring -- it's the guy I transferred to customer service ringing back

Lady cuts me off...  "Well can't YOU run my prescription and tell me now?"

Ring, ring -- it's another call ringing in....

"No, we have to have the prescription to process, otherwise that's considered fraud.  Why don't you call your insurance and ask them?  They can help..."

She hangs up.  <CLICK>

"Hello, pharmacy, please hold..."  Gift card guy put on hold.

"Hello, thank you for calling the pharmacy.  This is CrazyRxMan.  How may I help you?"

"I'd like a refill.  It's number 70993943.  I'll be there in ten minutes..."  <CLICK>

Caller hangs up.  The problem is we're on a thirty minute wait right now and none of our prescriptions have 8 digits nor do they start with a 7.  This will be fun when he shows up.

Back to gift card guy....

"Hello, pharmacy..."

"No one answered at Customer Service.  Can't you call them and ask for me?"

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring....  it's going to be a LONG day....

Things you don't want to say # 1

A lady came in last year with a script for her cat.  It was some eyeball medication.  Eyeball medications are expensive.  Cats don't have insurance.  I tried to tease the lady by saying, "You know, for that kind of money you can buy a whole new cat."

Then I got the look.  I don't say things like that anymore.

Probability 101 revisited

Yet another amazing coincidence...  when the patient is going on vacation somewhere, somehow they don't have pharmacies where they are going and somehow need to get their controlled substance filled early before they leave because they just won't have enough until they get back.

What's the matter with you?

I'm the first to admit that I don't know everything.  I know some stuff about pharmacy, but the more I get into this the more I realize that not only do I not know everything, neither does any other pharmacist.  There are some really smart pharmacists out there and I look up to them, but they don't know it all either.

I guess I'm using that introduction to make myself feel better about what happened the other day.  An older gentlemen steps up to the window and we have the following conversation:

Mr. Pain:  "Hey sonny, where's the Banesin?"

Me:  "Ban-eh-sin?  What's that?"

Mr. Pain:  "Yes sonny... where do you keep it?"

Me:  "I don't know what that is..." (I'm fumbling for my book now)  "Let me look that up."  You see, while I paid a boatload of money for my education, they didn't teach me everything.  And most of the time when they were teaching me stuff, they weren't using brand names, and they didn't spend a lot of time on OTC medications either.

Mr. Pain:  "What's the matter with you?  Every pharmacy carries Banesin.  Have so for 100 years."

Me:  "Well, I'm sure we don't have that" (because I don't recognize the name and I know everything we DO have on our shelves) "Can I order it for you?"

Mr. Pain:  "What's the matter with you?  You playing a game with me?  Just tell me where it is!"  He's getting angry now.

Me:  "What do you treat with it?"  At this point Banesin could be for purple zits or hair loss for all I know.

Mr. Pain:  "What's the matter with you?  It's for PAIN.  Where's your pain meds, sonny?"

I tell him where the pain meds are, offer to take him there (to a resounding NO) and then give him a parting comment.  I then go to the computer to find out about this mystery medication called Banesin.  After some research I realized I could have figured this out on my own by just thinking about the name and would not have appeared so stupid to the customer.  Banesin is acetaminophen... your basic tylenol product.

In my defense, though... the actual brand name "Banesin" has not been used for years.  MANY YEARS.

I called one of my older colleagues whom I call whenever I get in trouble.  He's been a pharmacist for many, many years.  I ask him, "Hey, what is Banesin?"

His reply: "Ban-eh-sin?  What's that?"

New indication for Ambien

Apparently it's now prescribed for pain!  Who knew?

For those of you who don't know, "1/2 - 1 PO @HS prn pain" translates to "1/2 to 1 tablet by mouth at bedtime as needed for pain."

Reflect

Written in 2001, why can't I fill it now?

Corporate prints these fun little coupons in the newspaper.  Bring in a new or transferred prescription and get a $30 gift card to use in the store.  All the major pharmacy chains are doing this now and we're no different.  Every time they print one of these people scramble around to find some way to take advantage of the coupon.  Despite clear wording in the coupon itself that it is one per person per promotional period and other limiting factors, people will work and scheme and do everything they can to get these gift cards.  Hey, it is basically $30 free dollars to spend, right?

I now hold the new record for the oldest prescription submitted for a $30 gift card. This lady must have torn her house apart trying to find it.  She handed over to me, in all honesty, a prescription dated March 15, 2001.  I squinted and turned the script around desperately seeing if there was anyway the 2001 was actually supposed to be 2012.  It just wasn't possible.  So then I asked and she confirmed, "Yes, it is from 2001."  Upon rolling her eyes when I told her that it was expired (non-controlled prescriptions are only good for one year from the date they were written), she demanded that I call her doctor.  Well, I did... the people waiting at the other window would just have to wait, you know, because this $30 gift card stuff is serious stuff.  The doctor agreed to update the date to the present (I'm sure he did his own eye-rolling on the other end of the phone).  So then of course I find out that the patient has no insurance anymore and she was completely surprised to find out that the price is not the same as her old co-pay.  Yes, she was really surprised, and no, she didn't want the medication anymore (even with the possibility of getting the $30 freebie).

I love wasting time like that.