Performing, that is. Performing for The Authorities. I did it myself the other day. It shocked me later when I thought about it. I laughed as I recalled the tale to some acquaintances. But in reality it was just shocking to see how easy it is to fall in line with The Man at a moment's notice.
Here's what happened: Last week the regional pharmacy manager (RPM) came by. He came by to "probe" and "check things out..."
...you know, to make sure things are all clear...The rest of them showed up the next day. Our Pharmacy Director (a rare photo seen at the right), the RPM, another RPM, and a manager from somewhere higher up on the Goofmart Pharmacy management chain. They all came by to assess the outward appearance of the pharmacy. From this visit, I assume they came to check the following really important aspects of pharmacy:
1. The amount of dust in odd places where pharmacists, technicians, patients, or customers never go or look. Because that's just really important, you know.
2. To assess how much of the pharmacy looks like "pharmacy activities" take place... you know, so that can be completely removed from customer view. We don't want to actually look like we do anything pharmaceutical!
3. To make sure blame is thrown around to whoever is working at that time whether they had anything to do with whatever was out of compliance.
(A quick calculation in my mind... two RPMs, a Pharmacy Director and an upper manager... visiting several pharmacies all day. Eight hours of accomplishing nothing cost Goofmart at least $2200 not counting gas and lunch ~ and this doesn't even address the probing visit from the day before).
And so went forth the 20 minute visit. The upper manager went around with his dust-assessing finger and eagle eye. He found some dust and quickly brought his finger to me to show me. Oddly it reminded me of one of the neighbor's gross kids 15 years ago that would stick his finger in his dirty diaper and go around showing everyone.
Anyway, I casually reminded this manager that not more than a week ago some new tile was put down in the store and the floor had to be prepped ahead of time. Obviously that was the source of the dust. That's no matter, I was told. It should be eliminated immediately. He actually asked me why I had not taken care of it personally.
What I wanted to say: "You're right. Technicians! Come immediately! Stop all filling procedures for waiting clients and begin extricating all dust everywhere. Nobody fills another prescription until all the dust is GONE!"
What I actually said: "Yes! We'll take care of that as soon as possible," with a smile on my face...
I am the Master Thespian! Acting! Genius! Thank you!
And so I continued to perform for the rest of the visit. I was happy, excited, thrilled, upbeat, positive, forward-looking, and in every way the perfect Goofmart robot. I slipped into the role so easily I wasn't even aware I was doing it. Meryl Streep would have given me one of her Academy Awards for my performance.