Following Directions is Apparently Difficult

People want flu shots this time of year. And that's ok because we have a lot of them. We have it down to a 10 minute venture start to finish unless the phone starts ringing or some other interruption. But for some reason, people can't seem to follow directions. Maybe it's my delivery, OR maybe people are just trying to intentionally piss me off. I think the latter.

Lady: "I'd like a flu shot please." (She starts rolling up her sleeve like I'm going to reach out over the counter and stick her).

Me: "Ok, we will get you a flu shot." I proceed to get her personal information and billing information. I process a claim and a label prints. So then I hand her a consent and release form, stating the following, "I just printed a label (I'm holding it in my hand), so you don't need to fill out the top part. I just need your doctor's name, sign and date, and answer questions one thru eight." (It even rhymes which I think makes it easier). I point to the parts of the release form where I said I needed her to fill it out as I'm saying all this.

I go draw up a syringe with the magic Nixon/CDC mind-control potion then walk back to the patient.  There it is, completely filled out from top to bottom, including answers to all 14 questions. Once again, the patient has failed to listen to me. I sigh, have her sign out the shot like a regular prescription, then take her to our million dollar GOODNESS room and immunize her.

This scenario has played out SOOOOOO many times it can't be a coincidence. I've tried different approaches, even telling the patient to LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY, or even highlighting with a pen what needs to be filled out. And still, over 80% of the time, the patient fails to follow the directions. It's not really a big deal unless we're really busy (which is most of the time) and they're taking up precious time filling in parts they don't need to because THEY DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME. So yeah, it aggravates me. And I worry, I really worry, because they vote too.