New Word for the Day: Oxydemand

Oxydemand: verb, adjective; combination of oxycodone (an opiod narcotic) and demand (a command to receive).

Uncommon in the English language. Usually used by those in the pharmaceutical industry, specifically pharmacists, to describe patients addicted to narcotics and insist that they be given the medication immediately.

Sample: The patient has a new prescription for Percocet. She wants it now because she is stricken with oxydemand.

Monday evening... well after all the techs have gone home and it is the lone pharmacist facing the world, just like Cat-Dog. That's when the fun begins.

Sha-sha-Sharona shows up at the pick-up window. "I'm here to get the rest of my husband's oxycodone. It was on order."

Since no notes are left about the situation I have to hone my Holmes skills to figure out what is going on. Finally I determine that the patient dropped of a prescription THAT MORNING, was given 16 tablets (enough for several days) and an order was sent out for more Oxycodone which won't arrive until tomorrow.

I explain this to Sha-Sha-Sharona. She looks at me and doesn't blink. Oxydemand: "Well then I want the prescription back so that I may get it filled somewhere else."

A person steps in line behind her. He stares at me. Why do people in line always stare at the pharmacist?

"I can't do that. We have given your husband 16 tablets. Since we've given him a partial fill, he must pick up the remaining balance here."

"We're going out of town... tonight!"

(Isn't it really amazing how often people on Medicaid go out of town?)

I explain again. Then I explain that although I wasn't there, I'm sure Mickey explained it all to her husband that morning as well.

Another person steps in line. Two more eyes now focus on me.

Sharona throws out another oxydemand. The air-conditioning is out at their house. They MUST go out of town. Apparently there is no where in the tri-county area that has a room for them. They must travel 100 miles out-of-town to get adequate air-conditioning. And she oxydemands I either give her the quantity owed to her or the prescription, immediately. 

I saw it coming and finally there it is... the finger pointing. She's pointing her finger at me now. Why is it that people think that's going to help their cause? Oh, he said no, but if I point my finger that'll change things.

A third lady thinks about stepping in line, but sees the finger-pointing, turns around, and hurries off.

At this point I'm trying to keep myself from saying something that will get me in trouble. Despite losing money every time we fill prescriptions for people on Medicaid, Goofmart Grocery won't put up with any insolence because these people bought a package of hot dogs a few months ago.

I tell her that this isn't a Goofmart policy or even a state board policy. This is a federal thing and there's nothing I can do about it. Five minutes has passed by this time and I still don't think she's blinked, but she finally does and trots off in short stabby steps like George Castanza. Somewhere off in the distance, a gift card gets its angel wings.