I don't know what he's doing in our state. He should be up at the north pole. But he's here, and he's on high blood pressure medication.
I've been a pretty good boy this year, so I thought I would ask Santa for a present.
I asked him if I could have my old girlfriend back. She dumped me for a taller guy. Yeah, he's taller, but he makes about $110,500 less per year than I do a year. And there's something about choking his own son and a restraining order, but I digress. I'm sure he's a fine fellow.
Santa looked me straight in the eye.
"Let it go, kid. She ain't coming back."
So now I'm beginning to think maybe he's NOT the real Santa.
Women do shit like that, I know because I am one. I almost left a good guy for a violent, manipulative alcoholic (of course now I'm glad I didn't). Physical appearance and income were not factors, as embarrassing and illogical as it is I have to admit I was attracted to his personality. I took four semesters of psych courses before I switched my major and I still can't begin to offer a valid explanation for why healthy and otherwise sensible women do this.
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