Apparently when you become a pharmacist, suddenly you know everything about anything, medical or not. We're the next best thing to Google.
Here are just a few of the many oddball questions I've received over the years:
* When will you hear back from my doctor?
* Is this covered on my insurance?
* Do you know if this toothbrush will cure gum disease?
* What do you think this rash looks like?
* What should I take with me on my trip to the Grand Canyon?
* Where are my children? [I have never met the lady or have any idea what her children look like]
* My car is going "thump thump whack, thump thump whack" when I'm going over 30 mph. What's causing that?
* I have an allergy to shellfish. Is it ok if I eat bacon?
* Where is your Viagra? I can't find it out here anywhere.
* Do you have any Viagra samples?
* May I have one tablet of Viagra?
* Why isn't this $4? Aren't all your generics $4?
* I'm thirsty all the time. [Then she just stared at me and never asked a question]
* This medication expired in 2009. It's ok to take it, right?
* Be honest with me. Is it cancer? [This is what Miss Loosey asks about every condition she has]
* What's the price of a postage stamp?
* How many Motrin should I take to stop my allergies?
* Is the ice cream on sale?
* Can't you just give me the Oxycontin now and verify the Rx tomorrow? [asked when I could not reach the doctor on a written Rx that was very suspicious]
* Can I have 23 amber medicine bottles for my science project?
* I have an "itch" down there. [she looks down toward her crotch] You want to see it? [She motions with her eyes toward the pharmacy waiting room]
* So, how hard is it to make meth? [After just purchasing some Sudafed]
* Where do you have your lithium batteries? [After just purchasing some Sudafed]
* Can I borrow your car?
* Could I have a sip of your water?
* Do you have a test that will tell me if I have a boy or girl?
* Is that lady that works in the meat department single?
* How about I pay you half the co-pay in cash and you just pocket it?
* Is it really too early for my narcotics? [she just received a 30 day supply ten days ago]
My patient with a Hx of EtOH abuse, in isolation for (+) MRSA, who had a nervous scratching habit and thus was covered with open, bleeding scratch marks on all his limbs and torso, while holding out a $20 bill:
ReplyDelete"My cell phone battery is dead. Can I just give you $20 to borrow your phone?"
Um, hell to the naw man!
- Why don't you pay for my copay? *I* shouldn't have to pay *MY* copay.
ReplyDelete- Do you want me to die?
- You aren't open early/late enough. Why can't you open earlier/later?
- Why are you always out of my medication? [name brand, uber expensive, and yes, always ordered ahead of time, just refilled too early]
- Don't you have a system to look up my insurance? I'm in the system.
"Can I get crabs from my sister?"
ReplyDelete"Can you connect me to the Pizza Hut in your shopping center?"
ReplyDelete