A Visit from the FDA

"I'm Fred D. Almond. I'm here from the FDA," he said, holding out his credentials like Scully from the X-Files.

"What can I do for you?" I ask. It's Monday and wouldn't you know it, we're kinda busy.

"I'm here about the recall of Lamotrigine unit dose packages from XYZ Distributors," FDA from the FDA says. He holds up a picture that looks like this one here:

"I think your investigation is over," I tell FDA from the FDA.

"Why?" he asks.

"We don't carry Lamotrigine unit dose packages. We never have. And to my knowledge, we have never purchased any medication from XYZ Distributors, ever."

FDA squints at me. I figure they teach them that down at "headquarters."

"Perhaps you're supposed to be at Flea Market Drugs across the street, or maybe Wagmart down the street?"

FDA opens his file, closes it, thanks me, then disappears.

I'm sure glad these folks are in charge of the important stuff when it comes to medication safety. Aren't you?