Mucinex: Now for Constipation!

"Where's your stool softener," said the guy, 60 is the new 50-ish, asks me.

It's behind you on aisle seven, on the left.

He goes and takes a look. A moment later he steps out of the aisle just as a random group of people, all not together, are walking by. "Where's the Mucinex?" he asks. As I'm on my way to tell him where to find it, two of the random group blurt out, "Mucinex, that's good stuff." Another adds her two cents, "Yeah, but ya gotta get the Mucinex-D, it's even better!" Now I could go on another side bar about how amazing it is that so many random people have pharmacy degrees but that's not pertinent to the story.

I get out to aisle seven to show the guy where the Mucinex is located when he says, "I don't see it here with the other stool softeners."

I quickly realize that he has some wrong information in his head. "Mucinex is to help loosen chest congestion," I say. "It's here on the other side of the aisle with the cough and cold formulations.

"But my wife told me to get Mucinex. She said it's the best."

"Yeah, it's a good product, but it's not a stool softener."

"BUT ALL THOSE PEOPLE SAID MUCINEX IS GREAT," he spits back, angrily.

It was two of the five people, not "all" of them. But that's just a detail thing only a pharmacist would think. 

"Yes, but they didn't know you asked for a stool softener. They only heard you ask for Mucinex and offered their opinion for some reason."

The guy looks at me, squints, then says, "Are you sure?"

The demon inside me wants to step up to the plate and tell him: No, it's all a conspiracy. We keep the Mucinex with it's amazing constipation curing potential with the cough and cold items to throw people off the trail. You have to know the secret password for us to reveal the true nature of Mucinex.

Instead I show him again how the Mucinex is on the side of the aisle with the cough and cold formulations, then on the OTHER side there's the stomach remedies. The nearest thing that I can think of that sounds like Mucinex is Miralax. I show that to him."

"Nope," he says. "She said Mucinex."

At this point I had enough. I said "Let me know if I can help you with anything else," and I stepped away.

Now when he gets home, I project a 100% chance that she's going to be angry he didn't come home with Miralax AND he's going to be angry with ME for not pointing it out to him.

I'll activate a gift card now in anticipation of his arrival.