I'm Holding it to my Ear for Warmth

Some people are so completely annoying that you can't help yourself from wanting them to just go away. 

Gretta Ann is on the top of that list. She is new to our pharmacy. We've only filled scripts for her a dozen times or so.

She's a complete mess. If she calls on the phone she goes into a long, drawn out speech and continues for at least three minutes before you ever get to say anything. She's one of those people who just won't stop talking even though she asks questions. Then if you do get a chance to say anything she'll cut you off and go on about something else.

I really hate phone calls like that. I'd rather peel skin off my arm rather than listen to this lady.

So when we see her coming down aisle eight we know we're in for a special treat. Today is no exception. Here she is with a script for Vyvanse (maybe that explains her inability to shut the hell up) and another for Oxycodone. 

The tech sends her away, telling her it will be 20 minutes, before actually processing the scripts. We've all done this and we all regret doing this when something goes wrong. But it's just too tempting to send a problem patient away rather than listen to them yammer while you're trying to type.

Gretta Ann wanders off. The rest of us are madly filling scripts and helping patients as Flynn finds out that it is one day too early on both scripts. Insurance is not going to pay for them until the following day.

In about 12 minutes (so much for 20 minutes) Gretta Ann gets in line at the pick up counter. She's on her cell phone and is loudly discussing something about her bank account... and her loud, rattling, annoying voice is bothering EVERYONE around her, including the lady in front of her that is picking up her medication.

Gretta Ann, deep in her conversation, ignores all the signage about privacy and cell phones and steps up RIGHT NEXT to the lady I'm helping. The lady looks at me. I look at her, then to Gretta Ann. I'm annoyed, the lady I'm helping is annoyed. Somewhere in the forest a tree has fallen and it is also annoyed. 

I reach over the counter and point to the sign that says not to use your cell phone at the pharmacy counter. Gretta Ann continues talking and steps back in line about four feet, all the while yapping away about her bank account. She completely missed the message I was trying to give her.

I finish the transaction and step over to the lady that is behind Gretta Ann and ask her how I can help her.

Gretta Ann belts out, "I'm NEXT!"

"You're on your cell phone. When you're done, I'll be happy to help you."

"I'm NOT on my cell phone," she says to me, HOLDING the cell phone to her ear. 

I'm not kidding you. Seriously, that's exactly what she said.

"Your scripts are too early anyway. We can fill them tomorrow," I say, hoping she'll go away.

"Give them back to me! I'll go somewhere else!"

I couldn't stop myself. The words left my lips, "I couldn't be happier about that."

Gretta Ann storms off. Secretly the techs and myself are all cheering inside. We're as happy and gleeful as can be! The most annoying patient we've ever had is gone, gone, gone! Praise the old gods and the new ones, Gretta Ann is gone!

But the gods play with us. Gretta Ann came back the next day and filled her scripts with the other pharmacist. I wasn't there, but I'll bet she was on her cell phone the whole time.