The LATEST Technology

Ted is 90+ years old. He might be a total of 90 lbs fully dressed too. He's the thinnest man I know. Thin people live forever. It's us fatties that die early. He looks like the farmer in the American Gothic painting. Ted sports a giant hat and sunglasses to protect him from "Skin Cancers" as he calls them. That's ok, Ted, but you really can take them off IN the store. 

Ted always calls the pharmacy when he takes his last tablet of his medication. He's over 90 years old so we don't mind. Then he shows up with his big hat and sunglasses within a half hour. He's a nice guy and if it is slow at the pharmacy you can get him to talk about interesting things that happened in history 75 years ago. He likes to tell the story of his "knife fight" with "the huge Italian" back in the 30s. I like to hear the story over and over again because Ted is so excited to tell it and he never remembers he told you the story already.

Today Ted calls and orders up his Lisinopril and shows up, as usual, 30 minutes later. Today Ted doesn't tell me about the knife fight. Instead he tells me how he's really excited about his "technology upgrade" which will allow him to get more work done. 

In my mind I'm wondering what it could be? A keyboard for his iPad? Did he upgrade his Windows and added the latest version of Excel and Word? Or maybe he upgraded to iOS 7? What could it be?

"It was really big to lift into the house," Ted says. "I had to have two big burly guys carry it in for me." 

I'm thinking that Ted, at his 90 lbs., just hired two 145 lbs. thugs to carry in his new desktop computer.

"So what is it, Ted?" I ask.

"I just bought an IBM Selectric Typewriter. It's ELECTRIC. Sure beats the heck out of my old Royal typewriter. I had to pay to big burly guys to bring it in. That thing is heavy."