New Pharmacy Directive: LOSS PREVENTION

Corporate has decided that they will no longer have a "loss prevention" squad. This usually involved ONE weird tattooed guy sneaking around the store looking for people shoplifting stuff. I guess he was fired or shaved his beard or both, I don't know. Anyway, the bean counters and MBAs at corporate did some research and discovered that most of the shrinking inventory takes place in the "family" section -- you know, condoms (wouldn't that be under a separate category of "non-family"? Oh, I digress.), female genital medications, shaving needs, cosmetics, health products, creams, lotions, etc.

We're told that they need our help. They've decided that since the pharmacy is close to this section it is up to us to keep an eye on things:

"Many of the Family Care items are located right in front of the pharmacy making YOUR department's employees a natural 'look out' for these high shrink items."

But then it goes on to say, "First and foremost, the responsibility of the pharmacy department is your patients and customers."

THEN the document goes on to tell us that we need to WATCH and LISTEN for suspicious activity of ORC (That's Organized Retail Crime to you folks in Idaho) and REPORT anything to the "person in charge."

What a load! Organized crime is not going to wait until the pharmacy staff is free to "watch and listen" -- they're going to hit us when we're busy! Duh. Furthermore, we can't get anyone from management to come help us now when WE really need help! They're certainly not going to run over because someone is pocketing a box of EXTRA SMALL condoms!

And yet again we have a paradox. We're supposed to put our patients and customers as our top priority but we're also supposed to watch and listen for shop-lifting. We can't do both, corporate, and that's why NORMAL companies don't expect pharmacy personnel to stop shop-lifters.

Jeez, you guys are dense.