Flip Phone Fiasco

It's after 6pm. The last tech has left. I'm alone now until closing time. These are the bewitching hours of pharmacy.

Lonnie Megaquart comes by to pick up medication for his wife. He's a regular of ours and mostly a pretty nice guy.

But not today.

"The doctor said he was going to call in some Loovaquin for my wife. We were just at the doctor's office 30 minutes ago."

In addition to knowing the names of all brands and their generics, we pharmacists have had to learn all the patient names for medications as well. Loovaquin?

"I'm sorry, Lonnie. He hasn't called yet."

"I was just there 30 minutes ago. He said he would call right away and you'd have them ready for me when I go here."

"No one has called, Lonnie." 

I do the usual run around the pharmacy. "I have no faxes, voicemails, or e-scripts. I will still need time to fill it and the doctor shouldn't be telling you when I'll have things ready. He or she doesn't know my present workload."

"Well I'm going to give him a call. This is an outrage."

Lonnie steps aside and pulls out his flip phone. Another pharmacy patron steps up to the window and I start checking him out. I hear Lonnie talking to the doctor, then say to me, "Here's the doctor. He wants to call in the prescription..."

Lonnie is standing right next to the person I'm presently helping, leaning over the counter with his hand outstretched, trying to hand me his flip phone.

I look at Lonnie, then at the man I'm helping. I'm flabbergasted. Seriously, WHAT on EARTH is WRONG with these people?

As polite as I can, I say, "Lonnie, have the doctor call me here at the pharmacy in a few minutes. I'm helping this man right now."

The phone starts ringing. We have a distinctive ring for doctors. It's the most annoying sound in the world. I'm still helping the other guy at the window and it takes several rings before I get to the phone.

"Goofmart Pharmacy, this is Crazy RxMan."

"This is Doctor Bigass. What took you so long to answer the phone?! I need to call in a prescription for Levaquin for a patient that is waiting at your pharmacy right now!"

Seriously? I don't make this stuff up. And now I have two more names to add to my notebook.