The Authorities Identify a True Leader

When I first started at this Goofmart Pharmacy location, we had an assistant manager here named Cocky. My first interaction with Cocky set the tone for our entire relationship...

Me: "Hello, my name is Crazy RxMan. I'm your new staff pharmacist. They said I should talk to you about getting added to the system and a register code."

Cocky: "What's your score?"

Me: "What? I said I need a register code."

Cocky: "Your service score? What is it?! We're all about service at Goofmart Grocery. Can we count on you for high service scores?!!!"

From there it only became worse. I would often see Cocky racing through the store, hopped up on Mountain Dew, making sure everyone was providing top notch service. I saw people intentionally avoid him and his "MAY I HELP YOU FIND SOMETHING?!" when these people clearly were not looking for help and/or wanted to shop in peace. Other times he would race through the store, dropping off "service reports" to the various departments, applauding those who did well and giving extensive criticism to those who did not.

One day my kids stopped by after school. They were interested in my new digs which were quite different from the old ones. My youngest, all of six years old, asked, "Could we have a tour?"

I thought why not, and led them into the pharmacy. I showed them where we did the filling, where we stored the medication, and the will-call area. The entire tour lasted about 30 seconds and they were on their way.

The next day Cocky came into the pharmacy: "I want to talk to you about your visitors. Are you aware of HIPAA? Do you know how many HIPAA violations you incurred yesterday? I'm letting the store manager know, your manager, and your RPM." Was he intentionally trying to be condescending, or just trying to piss me off? I thought.

I didn't know, so I assured Cocky that it was completely unnecessary and that it wouldn't happen again. I instinctively knew that this wolf pup was looking to have his chin licked, so I played along. Once he left the pharmacy, I immediately phoned my manager and RPM. My manager sided with me. He thought Cocky was ridiculous. In fact, his nickname for Cocky was Deputy Dog.

One of Deputy Dog's favorite pastimes was picking on one of my technicians. I don't know why he did this, but if he ever caught sight of her not "actively engaged" in pharmacy business, he would immediately call her onto the grocery floor and tell her to reset a shelf or dust and he did this just to be a jerk. She was OUR tech, not his stock boy.

But my favorite Cocky memory was the day he requested that "all personnel not actively engaged in customer service with a guest" immediately present to the break room. My tech, already afraid of Cocky, zoomed out of the pharmacy. She told me how Cocky got everyone into the room and pulled out an empty water bottle with a competitor's label on it. It didn't have the Goofmart company logo. Now there could be a million reasons why it was in our break room. Maybe an employee picked it up in the parking lot? Maybe it was brought in by a guest and left on the sales floor?

No, Deputy Dog immediately assumed that it was purchased by a Goofmart employee, consumed, and left in the break room as an act of defiance. He berated the entire room of employees, lambasting their lack of loyalty, and reminding them as to WHO pays their bills. I wasn't there, but my tech told me there were some that left crying.

There are other Cocky stories to tell, but suffice it to say that he was eventually transferred. His level of concern about customer service was so impressive and his treatment of employees so condescending, he was recognized by The Authorities and moved on to become his own store manager!