Why Your Pharmacist has No Sense of Humor

I'm at the half way point. Almost all the fun has left my body. There's still a little fun left, but after a few more patient interactions and dealings with The Authorities it will be extinct like New Formula Coke. I know it is coming. I have prepared a personal living will for my insanely funny personality. I have advance directives.

You see this a lot with older pharmacists. The light of life is gone from their eyes. The spit and vinegar is just gone. Why, you ask? Where oh where did the life go? There's not one patient interaction or one single mandate from management that causes it. It's year after year of little chicken peckings, over and over, that wear a man or woman down to the nub they are now.

Recently one of our regulars asked for a flu and pneumonia shots. The tech ran claims and had her sign a consent and release form. But she was still unsure if she wanted to get the vaccinations. I don't know why. Some people are just weird about vaccinations. So I anticipated her question for the pharmacist:

"What side effects will I experience with these shots?"

If you don't know me be now, read a few more blog posts. I look for just about any opportunity to poke fun at anything anyone says at any time. The lady that asked the question has dealt with my strange sense of humor before, but today was different.

My response, delivered as dead pan as possible:

"Sudden, immediate, excruciatingly painful death."

The tech chuckled.

He eyes widened and she gasped, then belted out, "That's NOT funny."

"Yes it is. Everyone I've ever said that to before always laughs," I said. The tech nodded in approval.

"It is NOT funny," she said, laughing nervously for some reason now.

At this point I'm tempted to say some story about how we as pharmacists have absolutely no idea what the side effects are for the shots we give... but I thought better of it and told her what to expect. She seemed satisfied.

I gave her the shots and she went on her merry way. But part of my sense of humor suffered a nasty blow today. After years of this I see how I will end up looking like all the mean, old, grumpy pharmacists you see today.