Saturday, November 28, 2015

A Charming Little Santa Story

One of our patients is Santa. 

I don't know what he's doing in our state. He should be up at the north pole. But he's here, and he's on high blood pressure medication.

I've been a pretty good boy this year, so I thought I would ask Santa for a present.

I asked him if I could have my old girlfriend back. She dumped me for a taller guy. Yeah, he's taller, but he makes about $110,500 less per year than I do a year. And there's something about choking his own son and a restraining order, but I digress. I'm sure he's a fine fellow.

Santa looked me straight in the eye.

"Let it go, kid. She ain't coming back."

So now I'm beginning to think maybe he's NOT the real Santa.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Finish Him!

We're open 12 hours a day Monday through Friday, 10 hours on Saturday, and 8 hours on Sunday.

But that's not enough.

Especially if it is late Saturday afternoon and you've realized you didn't pick up your legally prescribed meth a few hours before clubbing night.

And that's how it went down last Saturday. It's 15 minutes to close. I'm tired. I want to go home. But almost every Saturday about an hour before closing time there is this rush to the pharmacy. We've had the same hours for years but some people have this idea in their head that we're going to be closed on Sunday so they rush down to get their Lipitor because the bottle only has a few tablets left in it. You know, you really don't want to be without your Lipitor, right? Imagine the surge in cholesterol if you miss a day or two.

Ring ring...

So I'm already running around that last hour. It's only me because the tech is gone for the day. And wouldn't you know it, this is also the time the phone likes to start ringing. When there's only one person and I have live people at the pharmacy, something has to get sacrificed, and that's the phone.

Ring ring...

But this particular day the caller won't give up. I'm checking people out one after another. One wants to write a check. Another wants me to fill something on the fly because they forgot to ask for it when they asked for the other things to be filled. It's typical last hour pandemonium.

Ring ring...

Another guy picks something up but wants to know if it is going to interfere with Tramadol. Oddly, he's not on Tramadol but his dog takes it for pain. I don't even have time to wonder about this one because that freaking phone won't stop ringing.

Ring ring...

Finally I get the guy gone and happy.

It's 10 minutes to close. I get to the phone and this guy wants to know if we still have his Adderall ready to pick up. "I'm out and I need it." 

So I go to the will call and sure enough it is still there. I go back to the phone. He's hung up.

Thirty seconds later a courtesy clerk from the front of the store comes up to the window. "There's a guy on the phone that says he's on the way down and not to leave. How come you're not answering the phone?"

Oh sure, NOW the clerk sees that there is no one at the pharmacy so it looks like I've just been ignoring the phone for no good reason. I sigh and give her that DON'T MESS WITH ME look and she wanders off.

Ring ring...

I pick up the phone. It's Adderall guy. He's on the way and wants to make sure I don't leave because he really, really needs his medicine.

Ok, so maybe he's a student at one of the colleges in the tri-county area. Maybe he NEEDS his Adderall to study for an exam. Or maybe he's one of those few, rare people that actually have narcolepsy, I tell myself. 

Finally, about 15 minutes AFTER closing time he shows up. I ask him if he has a big test or something coming up.

"No, my friends and I are going clubbing tonight." The sharpness of this information stabs me, center chest. I've just been made to wait after a long day so a guy can have his meth to go clubbing. I'm wounded... almost dead.

Adderall guy starts to leave. 

Simultaneously, an elderly woman steps up to the window to pick up some Lipitor because her med set is out. 

In my mind I hear Adderall guy say to her, "Finish him!" 

Monday, November 23, 2015

Inventions by Doctors

The vast majority of doctors, nurses, and other prescribers have a complete handle on the medications they prescribe for patients. To them we pharmacists are very thankful for making our jobs easier.

But then there are those that miss the mark a little, have something else in their head that day, or just have it completely wrong. Obviously the script above is for WELLBUTRIN, unless this is some new drug combination for Wellbutrin plus Valium that I'm not aware of. 

Anyway, ones like this are always a good laugh... but then we have to make that dreaded attempt to get it clarified. In most cases it is easier to send a man to Mars than it is to get a hold of a doctor on the phone

Other scripts can be downright scary, especially if the doctor meant to write for one drug when he/she meant to write something else different entirely. I've caught more of those than I care to admit.

Some of the more interesting drug names I've seen "prescribed" in recent years:

Vicodin #4 (The doc meant Tylenol #4)

Hydrocodocode (Hydrocodone)

Niagara (Seriously)

Fish Foil

"Synthroid without the additives" (whatever that means)

Doxycycline 500mg BID (more like OMG!)

Isosorbide Monodinitrate ER 300mg (Really -- wrong in so many ways)

So thank your pharmacist! Please!