Saturday, August 1, 2015

Crazy RxMan is back

I want to take a moment to thank the people that expressed concern for me, through email, Twitter, and Facebook. I appreciate you taking the time to check up on me.

The past several months have been extremely difficult personally. I write about my professional life as a pharmacist. I've been beat up and down by patients, doctors, and The Authorities. Writing this blog does make that easier as I try to see the humor that exists in the strange world of retail pharmacy. Nothing, however, prepared me for something that happened in my personal life in January. It literally knocked me to floor.

The details, of course, have nothing to do with pharmacy. I tried to keep the blog up and running, but eventually I ran out of steam. I hope that I can return it to a point where it returns to the popularity that it once had. And again, thanks to all those who stuck by me and supported me.

Since you're here, I should probably tell you something pharmacy related or you won't come back. So let me tell you about the time Ben Stein waltzed into my pharmacy in Snootyville. You probably know him best as the actor portraying a teacher in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. "Anyone? Anyone?"

Yep, there he was, right at my pharmacy counter. Mr. Stein had encountered a bee which stung him right here in Snootyville. "Owwwww....  owwwwww" he kept saying, over and over, in the same tone as "Bueller? Bueller?"

We managed to save Ben Stein and get him some medication for his bee sting. Other than that, there's no point to this story, except for my brush with a celebrity.

Maybe some day I'll tell you about the time I sold Robert Plant a knife... a big freaking knife. Until then, regular blog stories this week as usual. Don't forget to tune me in on Twitter or Facebook.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Important Announcement

Husband: "Honey, the Crazy RxMan is coming back!"

Wife: "Who?"

Husband: "August first. He's coming back!"

Wife: "Who?"

Saturday, April 18, 2015

I'm "Epic"

Apparently taking up two parking spaces (although at the far end of the parking lot) didn't sit well with some dude who left me this nice note on my car. Imagine finding this on your car after a long twelve hour shift.

At least I'm "Epic."

Friday, April 17, 2015

Protecting Patriotic Privacy

Two new patients want a flu shot. 

It is a nice grandma and her daughter. Grandma is 86 years old. Her daughter is 66 years old. This is a Norman Rockwell moment. Mother and daughter... both elderly, coming down to see the Crazy RxMan to get their yearly flu shots... it's just so sweet I'm getting diabetes just thinking about it...

I do grandma first without incident... except for the regular rice-paper popping thing. Many of you other pharmacists and nurses might agree that little old ladies have skin like rice paper that actually "pops" when you poke in the needle. It freaks me out every time. Then the arm is usually so thin that you hit the bone. The patient doesn't feel it, but you do. That also freaks me out every time. I'm used this this now, so it's less freaky. But I'm about to be really freaked out...

So grandma gets her shot, then her daughter comes in the special flu shot room. Every time I do a shot now I think about how many damn shots we're going to have to give for years just to break even on this new room. But that's another story. Anyway, the daughter is wearing a long sleeve shirt. ANOTHER ONE! WHY, for heaven's sake, do you people wear LONG SLEEVES when you know you're going out for a flu shot?! Why? It's not even cold outside!

The sleeve won't come up. It's just too tight. The daughter says she'll have to take her shirt down over her arm so I can get to a meaty spot. She tells me to close the door, and of course I'm thinking she wants to protect her privacy and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. If I had to take my pants down I'd want the door closed too.

So I sit back down and she unbuttons and pulls down her blouse over her arm... and there it was. Bright colors of Red, White, and Blue in American flags and the most spectacular American Eagle tat you've ever seen... all over both arms and from I could see at my angle her back too. It was obviously new with the bright colors and quite surprising on a 66 year old lady. And it was so patriotic! I was shocked. Seeing my reaction, the lady says to me... "That's why I wanted you to close the door... I don't want my mother to see my tattoos."

I found this picture online to give you an idea of what I saw... only this tat doesn't do justice to what was on this little old lady.

God bless America!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Calculating Technician Hours

My company uses the latest mathematical models to forecast technician needs and appropriately distribute hours based on advanced NASA super computer algorithms and state of the art Logistics. As such, our technician needs are always met and smooth operation is the norm at my pharmacy chain.

Yeah, right. 

The people in charge of this (who likely have never actually stepped into a pharmacy on Monday morning) look at the last "period" and see how many scripts you've done. Depending on the total number of scripts and that's it (not taking into account the number of times the phone rang, what the script count has been at the same time period last year, or any other valuable data that's been collected). So time and time again we head into one period without regard to what is ahead. The biggest fiasco is August always getting reduced tech hours. The script count is always down at the end of July and we GET NAILED every year.

Thanks, Corporate!