Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Demotivational Hump Day... The Top of the World

Dear Goofmart Managers... just because you're on top of the world right now doesn't mean you'll always be there. Humble Pie gets served to everyone.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The Reality of 30 Extra Steps

A few years ago we had a major remodel to the pharmacy. The layout of the pharmacy was completely changed and as a result it became a race track with a huge number of added steps to perform the same simple tasks. And when I say "steps" I'm being literal. It requires a lot more footwork to do the same thing.

By our calculations it now takes at least 30 extra paces to go to will call and check out a patient on their medication. Don't worry. We can handle the extra physical work. But when the RPM first came by to inspect the remodel, pharmacy manager Mickey told her that it is a lot more work, step-wise, to get a patient out the door.

I was there and witnessed the conversation, and what I'm about to tell you is absolutely true: The RPM insisted that there are no extra steps with the new layout. She was completely adamant that no extra pacing was involved. So Mickey goes to the filling station and starts counting as he walks to the will call and then to the register. "See?" he says to her. "That's at least 15 extra steps from the old layout."

Ahhh, but Mickey was not aware that the RPM (and apparently all Goofmart Authorities) must have complete control over time and space. They have Q's ability to manipulate the very fabric of the universe. For were that not true, there would be no way she could make her reply statement: "No, that's wrong. It's not any more steps than before the remodel." She said this just after he paced it out and counted the steps for her. Obviously, Mickey was unaware that the RPM was controlling time and space, and had it completely wrong.

But somehow I doubt Goofmart Authorities can control time and space. They seem to be unable to tie their shoelaces most days.

Maybe there is a simple explanation. Our RPM must have been well aware of Zeno's Paradox. That's the only way she could have made her claim. "Why there's not any extra work involved with this remodel! Oh, no, you're wrong! You never actually made it from the filling station to the register? Why? Because you had to first go half the distance to the register, and then half of that, and then half of that... etc., etc. ~ ergo you never actually made it to the register therefore your claim is invalid!"
But people seem to get where they're going all the time so it can't be that.

The third possibility is that our beloved RPM was just repeating a canned answer thought up by upper managers in the ivory towers to address the simple questions by such simple idiots... you know, us pharmacists in the trenches. Instead of admitting to anything, just tell them they're wrong. Thirty extra steps? No. You're wrong.

And yet these people want us to trust them when they tell us they're doing all they can to get us more tech hours. 


Monday, March 20, 2017

Phexting = Pharmacy Texting

Technology is great. It helps us in ways we never dreamed possible. Can you imagine the ability to simply send a text message to get a pizza, confirm a dental appointment, or even get your medication refilled 20 years ago? Nope. If it was around then it was very limited.

And now there's PHEXTING! It's using texting to order refills on your pharmacy prescriptions. It's just GREAT!

But along with that comes a whole new set of problems.

Every day we get some goofball at the pickup window and this is how it plays out:

"I'm here for my prescription. I got a text saying I have a prescription ready for pick up."

We go to the will-call shelf. Nothing is there.

"What did the text say?" we ask.

"I don't know."

"Did you read the text?"

"Well it says something about a prescription."

"Does it say It's Time to Fill Your XXXX. Please reply with an F to fill."

<Looking Sheepish> "Yeah, maybe. I don't know."

"That text is telling you it might be time to fill your XXXX and if you want to fill it to reply with an F for FILL."

<Looking impatient> "Well is it ready?"

"Did you respond with an F to fill it?" I know they didn't but I'm trying to get the neurons in the patient's brain to connect this all together for next time.

"No. Maybe. I don't know." So much for that.

"We don't have it filled so you must not have responded to the text. I can get it filled now. It will be about 10-15 minutes."

"Oh wow, that long? What's the point of having the text thing then?"

<sigh> Euthanize me.