Saturday, December 31, 2016

A Christmas Story of My Own

"So, did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?" I asked my 15 year old son.

"Almost," he replied.

Almost, he said, because the one thing he really, really wanted this year was an electric guitar. And yet Santa somehow forgot to put it under the tree.

"Well, there's always next year," I said.

The Parkman fiddled with one of his other gifts while I let some time pass.

"Oh, hey, will you do me a favor?" I asked.

"Sure, dad."

"I left some soda out in the backseat of the car. Would you mind bringing it in before we eat?"

Parkman goes out to the car where I have left a large cardboard box in the backseat... a Fender electric guitar. He burst through the door with an excited look on his face. His lips curled into a huge smile as he hurriedly ripped open the box.

Within minutes Parkman plugged in the amp. The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone and the guitar blazed forth in unparalleled glory. Bumpus hounds be damned.

"Don't put your eye out," I laughed. I couldn't help myself.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Crisis Averted at the Goofmart

Sometimes a sour-faced, obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass patient can come in handy.

Robert ManOwar came in to pick up his medication, in the evening, after all the techs have gone home, AND on a day where I'm working the second shift. And of course, I've missed the first half of the day and am completely blind to most of the issues that happened earlier.

Such is the case with Mr. ManOwar. He's asking for a medication that should be on the shelf waiting for him. It isn't, and there's no explanation why. This happens a lot at my Goofmart, and I've become used to the fact it just makes me look stupid even though I'm not the person at fault. Blaming someone else even when it really is their fault just makes you look like the bad guy. Deal with it.

So while I'm trying to figure out this mess, another sour-faced, obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass patient has entered the line. Instead of patiently waiting by the sign that clearly reads "Please WAIT HERE to preserve patient privacy," she has crept up and is practically breathing down the neck of Mr. ManOwar. He looks at me. I look at him. I look at Mrs. Welldone. She looks back at me. I look back at Mr. ManOwar. They look at each other. It was like a stand off in a Quentin Tarantino film.

I don't want to engage either of them. This is an explosive combination. If this goes off it would wipe out the entire block. So I quickly run away to fill Mr. ManOwar's prescription... you know, the ONE that should be on the shelf but there's no explanation why.

I'm further away but the tension is all over the place. My pulse quickens. I feel a lump in my throat.

Mr. ManOwar can't handle her intrusion into his space. He says, "I'll be done in a moment."

Mrs. Welldone says, "I'm next in line."

Mr. ManOwar says, "You need to step back."

Mrs. Welldone steps back one step. "Does this make you happy?"

Mr. ManOwar says, "See that sign right there? That is where YOU should be standing."

Mrs. Welldone rolls her eyes. She steps back to the sign. Apparently she did see the sign but thought if she pushed up close to the first person in line that would make everything go faster.

She asks, "Are you happy now?"

Mr. ManOwar replies, "Yes. That is where you should have been standing to begin with."

Mrs. Welldone rolls her eyes again.

Crisis averted... all weapon systems stand down. Roll back to DEFCON 3. Recall the fighters.

And now you see the value of the sour-faced, obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass patient. You can clearly use them to fight off other sour-faced, obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass patients. That is the power and resource you can use to your advantage. Remember that, my friends.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Urgent Care Strikes Again

This is why we call them "Emerging Care" instead of Urgent Care... they're obviously still learning.

Monday, December 26, 2016

e-Script Double Take

Uhhhh... doc?

Isn't this like that old joke you'd write at the end of a letter:

"P.S. Let me know if you don't get this letter."

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Merry Christmas from the RxMan

The Merry RxMan
wishes you and your family
a very safe, happy, and most of all...

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Price Isn't Everything

"How much is a flu shot?" she asked.

"$30," I replied.

"Oh, I was just asking because I know they're $15 at [Warehouse Superstore]."

"I'm sure they are. Of course, after the twenty minute drive to get there, circling ten minutes to find a spot to park, then another ten minutes just trying to weave your way to the back to the pharmacy, only to be told the wait time is going to be twenty to thirty minutes BEFORE they can even get to you to give you the shot, I think it is worth $15 more to not go through that hassle."

<bewildered look, not comprehending at all what I just said> 

The lady walks off.

Good luck at [Warehouse Superstore] I thought.

This blog post originally appeared HERE.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Just Ignore the Elephant in the Room

December 15, 10am

The patient with the above prescription hands me this prescription, exactly as shown above. The yellow highlighting was added by the prescriber.

"So, ten, fifteen minutes?" she asks.

Give us thirty minutes after we open on the 19th, I respond.

I get an odd look. 

"Why?" she asks.

"Because we'll need time to fill it that morning," I respond. "The elves are busy at the north pole this time of year."

"Why can't you fill it now?" she asks, in all seriousness.

I want to laugh, but instead point out the highlighted portion.

"Oh," she says. "I didn't see that."

I didn't believe her. Do you?