Thursday, November 20, 2014

How I Amuse Myself while giving Flu Shots

*Looking at flu shot syringe... "Ok, here's your new home little guy!"

"Ok, let me turn on the microchip first then we'll be ready to go!"

*Looks at clipboard with puzzled expression... "It's going to be all right."

"The technician dared me to try this with my eyes closed. Are you game?"

*drops fake syringe... "Oops... let me just dust this off real fast and..."

* Holds fake flu shot syringe IN MOUTH... "Okdnd I'm gonrnds gidle yoo foo slot nlow"

"They've done studies... 60% of the time every time it works EVERY TIME!"

*Pulls out cell phone... "You don't mind if I take a selfie of the two of us, do you?"

"Ok, so now we're going to have to leave this in here for a few days."

*Holds vial up and reads label... "Expired? I thought these were in date..."

*Rubs finger and thumb on chin: "I can't remember... did I use this needle already?"

"Now you get to pick a prize from this red container that says 'Sharps' on it!"

"Whoa... what's that THING on your skin?!"

*Holds syringe up to the light and shakes it... "I wonder how THAT got in there?"

"Hold on... this vial says DISTEMPER. I was suppose to give you a flu shot, right?"

"Maybe I should have washed my hands first?"

"Ok, only three more and we're done!"

"Well of course you can get the flu from the flu shot! Isn't that why you're here?!"

"Wow, you should have seen how much that last guy bled!"

"Ok, hold still. This is the first shot I've ever given!"

"You don't mind me using a recycled needle, do you?"

"Oh, this should start working in about 8-10 months or so."

"The biggest side effect is permanent impotence."

"This is going to hurt, a LOT."

"Aw crap, that one didn't work. I'll have to do it over again."

"Wow, that was one big air bubble..."

*Squeezing around arm... "Wow, you really have no muscle, do you?"

"Oh shoot, it looks like your co-pay is $1,000 this month."

"Uh oh! The needle is stuck!"

"Would you like a painless needle or painful needle?"

"Rabies shot, right?"

"Did you want a new needle or a recycled needle?"


Anonymous said...

Looking at the needle and holding it up to the light: " that rust?"

Anonymous said...

Crazy.... You make my day! Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

I am a tech in the ED, when I go in to put a foley in on a male I always take two kits in with me and I tell the guy that I brought two kits just in case I miss the first time...Gets 'em every time....