Monday, July 29, 2013

Free Blood Pressure Monitoring

"Where is YOUR blood pressure machine?"

I wish I could capture the feeling in the blog. She's mad, agitated, pissed off, angry, gnarled, sweaty-toothed, hell.. I don't know just how to describe her. She's "flippin' mad." On top of that, she looked like a woman that even if she swallowed a kilo of magnets she still wouldn't be attractive.

"Corporate is remodeling parts of the store and it has been removed temporarily until they can get a new source of power." I point with my finger, "It will be in its new location over there sometime next week."

"HOWWWWWW am I supposed to take my blood pressure, then?"

Goofmart pharmacy has spent a great deal of money on some fancy blood pressure machines which talk to people and guide them through the process of taking their blood pressure. It even gets their name and email address and will email you your blood pressure every time you get it taken. I'm sure it gets emailed to the NSA too, but then again, I'm sure they're reading this blog too. Hi, NSA!

So I tell the lady the machine will be back next week. That seems like a reasonable response. Apparently it wasn't.

"This is ENTIRELY disrespectful! I need that machine to keep track of my blood pressure! And YOU PEOPLE just took it away! What am I going to do now? Do you WANT me to die?"

I have no way of knowing for sure because she doesn't get her prescriptions at my pharmacy, but I'll put a fifty on her being on Medicaid.

I said, "Well, we have some home units starting about $30... with a few batteries you can test your blood pressure in the privacy of your own home and not have to come down to Goofmart."

"That's HORRIBLE! That's why you took it away?! To sell blood pressure units! That's just HORRIBLE!"

The lady storms off. Whatever her blood pressure was before she came in to Goofmart, I'm sure it's a lot higher now. I see a free gift card in her future if she'll mention this to a Sub Commander.

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen... this is how the world works now. Everything is supposed to be free. Heck, someday we won't even have to pay for groceries. We'll just march on down to the grocery store and fill out carts and leave. It's the future Utopia!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes, right now in her fit of rage is the best possible time for her to take her blood pressure.