I don't know what he's doing in our state. He should be up at the north pole. But he's here, and he's on high blood pressure medication.
I've been a pretty good boy this year, so I thought I would ask Santa for a present.
I asked him if I could have my old girlfriend back. She dumped me for a taller guy. Yeah, he's taller, but he makes about $110,500 less per year than I do a year. And there's something about choking his own son and a restraining order, but I digress. I'm sure he's a fine fellow.
Santa looked me straight in the eye.
"Let it go, kid. She ain't coming back."
So now I'm beginning to think maybe he's NOT the real Santa.