"I need a pill, man, ya know, for my kidney," he stated.
Let's call him Memorial Man, for he showed up during the few hours we were open on Memorial Day. Or rather let's say "staggered up," as he was clearly tipsy with the fruit juice of the devil.
"Are you having trouble urinating?" I asked.
"No man, I need to PROTECT my kidney, man, so I can drink more."
"Oh, you want something for your liver?"
"Yeah. I need to protect my liver."
"So you can drink more alcohol?"
"Yeah. I read about it Men's Health magazine."
"Maybe you could drink less alcohol?"
"Oh, man, I knew you we're going to say that."
I sent him over to the vitamin aisle so he could find something for his kidney, liver, maybe perhaps his brain. I will always remember Memorial Man, the inebriated dude with kidney/liver protection as number one in his mind.