Lady comes in with a new prescription...
"I want to get this filled..."
Really? I thought you were going to make a paper airplane out of it. Seriously, we know the routine. You don't need to tell us that.
"...and I have new insurance..."
These words cause every pharmacist or pharmacy technician incredible dread and despair.
"...but I don't have the card. I called and they gave me my ID number and told me to tell you it is Well-I'll-Be-Healthy-Net."
Great. Well-Net has like 173 different combinations, all with different BIN, PCN, and group codes. The menu choices at Cheesecake Factory is smaller.
That's nice that you have your ID number. But did they give you the BIN, PCN, and Group?
"Oh, oh, group! Yes, it's GOLD group!"
This lady honestly thinks at this point we have EVERYTHING to process her prescription. What an L7 weenie!
"And what about the BIN and PCN?"
<blank stare> Her eyes glance over to the computer, and then she says the magic words...
"Can't you just look it up?"
I refrain from throwing my lab jacket on the floor and shrieking down the aisle as I leave this God-forbidden business known as retail pharmacy. This is it! I can't take it anymore! Run, Crazy RxMan! Run! Get out! Get away from this place, burn it to the ground, and never look back!
I respond, apologetically... "No."
Somewhere, somehow, I know Babe Ruth is disappointed in me.
I ask a technician to take a look at the situation while I go to counsel a lady with questions about her vaginal discharge. What a fun job. Yep, Forbes was right, this IS the job you want, people.
The tech spends THE NEXT 30 MINUTES on the phone with The Beast (known as Well-Net) trying to track down the lady's billing information. While the tech was on the phone, I had another tech at lunch, and the gods decided this is THE half hour of the day when 22% of the day's scripts would be filled, which ALL fell on my head. I was busier than Squints checking out Wendy Peffercorn on a hot summer day!
PEOPLE, for the love of all that's HOLY, please, please, please get your complete billing information from your insurance BEFORE you come to the pharmacy!
By the way, The Sandlot is on the RxMan's list of the top five movies of all time. Here's why.