Thursday, February 11, 2016

Actual Questions People have Asked Me

Apparently when you become a pharmacist, suddenly you know everything about anything, medical or not. We're the next best thing to Google.

Here are just a few of the many oddball questions I've received over the years:

* When will you hear back from my doctor?

* Is this covered on my insurance?

* Do you know if this toothbrush will cure gum disease?

* What do you think this rash looks like?

* What should I take with me on my trip to the Grand Canyon?

* Where are my children? [I have never met the lady or have any idea what her children look like]

* My car is going "thump thump whack, thump thump whack" when I'm going over 30 mph. What's causing that?

* I have an allergy to shellfish. Is it ok if I eat bacon?

* Where is your Viagra? I can't find it out here anywhere.

* Do you have any Viagra samples?

* May I have one tablet of Viagra?

* Why isn't this $4? Aren't all your generics $4?

* I'm thirsty all the time. [Then she just stared at me and never asked a question]

* This medication expired in 2009. It's ok to take it, right?

* Be honest with me. Is it cancer? [This is what Miss Loosey asks about every condition she has]

* What's the price of a postage stamp?

* How many Motrin should I take to stop my allergies?

* Is the ice cream on sale?

* Can't you just give me the Oxycontin now and verify the Rx tomorrow? [asked when I could not reach the doctor on a written Rx that was very suspicious]

* Can I have 23 amber medicine bottles for my science project?

* I have an "itch" down there. [she looks down toward her crotch] You want to see it? [She motions with her eyes toward the pharmacy waiting room]

* So, how hard is it to make meth? [After just purchasing some Sudafed]

* Where do you have your lithium batteries? [After just purchasing some Sudafed]

* Can I borrow your car?

* Could I have a sip of your water?

* Do you have a test that will tell me if I have a boy or girl?

* Is that lady that works in the meat department single?

* How about I pay you half the co-pay in cash and you just pocket it?

* Is it really too early for my narcotics? [she just received a 30 day supply ten days ago]


PAS1 said...

My patient with a Hx of EtOH abuse, in isolation for (+) MRSA, who had a nervous scratching habit and thus was covered with open, bleeding scratch marks on all his limbs and torso, while holding out a $20 bill:

"My cell phone battery is dead. Can I just give you $20 to borrow your phone?"

Um, hell to the naw man!

Anonymous said...

- Why don't you pay for my copay? *I* shouldn't have to pay *MY* copay.

- Do you want me to die?

- You aren't open early/late enough. Why can't you open earlier/later?

- Why are you always out of my medication? [name brand, uber expensive, and yes, always ordered ahead of time, just refilled too early]

- Don't you have a system to look up my insurance? I'm in the system.

Anonymous said...

"Can I get crabs from my sister?"

Anonymous said...

"Can you connect me to the Pizza Hut in your shopping center?"