Thursday, February 4, 2016

The Pimple Emergency

Mr. Hoser dials up the pharmacy.

"You have a refill on my son's Benzoyl Peroxide Cream?! Huh? Do you?!"

There's a brief pause while I pull up the info on the computer. I know who is calling even though he never said who he was. "No, he's out of refills on his Benzoyl Peroxide GEL."

"Do you have it? Do I have to wait? You guys never have things when I need it. Can you call the doctor? Or is it faster if I call the doctor? Huh?"

"If you call the doctor it will go faster. We have the GEL in stock. That's what he had before."

<click>

TEN MINUTES PASS

Mr. Hoser's doctor dials up the pharmacy.

"I want to authorize a refill on Larry Hoser's Benzoyl Peroxide Cream plus three refills."

"Larry had the GEL before. That's what we have in stock."

"Ok, then we authorize a refill on the GEL."

<click> Does no one say "goodbye" anymore?

FIVE MINUTES PASS

Mr. Hoser dials up the pharmacy.

"Did the doctor call? Did he? Can I come get my son's cream? Can I? Huh?"

"Yes, the doctor called. It's FILLED and READY to pick up. Come get your son's GEL..."

<click>


LESS THAN TEN MINUTES PASS

Mr. Hoser is at the window. "I'm here for my son's cream!"

I can't help myself. "Pimple emergency?" I ask.

"Larry has a lot of anxiety..."

Mr. Hoser's cell phone rings. He answers it, "What the HELL do you want? I told you I'd call you back when I'm damn good and ready. Now F--- off!" <click>

I'm beginning to see where Larry gets his anxiety.

I hand Larry's prescription to Mr. Hoser. There is no co-pay. You might have already guessed, THE TAXPAYERS PAY FOR IT. It's Medicaid.

Mr. Hoser rushes off. That must be one whopper of a pimple.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You should have offered him a bottle of windex.

Pillboy said...

You have no sympathy for sick people...you uncaring SOB.