Sending Hubby to the Pharmacy

This is for the ladies out there. 

Please listen to me. I'm a pharmacist but I'm also a man, and because I'm a man I understand men. Guess what? We men don't listen to you most of the time unless you're saying "dinner's ready" or "I'm in the mood for love" or something involving sports, sex, or food. This is not a character flaw. It's just the way we're designed. We hunt, eat, fix things, and procreate. That's what we do. Since we don't really hunt meat anymore, we solve that need with sports and political games at work. Unless you've been living on an island with only females, you know this too. It is what it is. Deal with it.

You can deal with it by listening to this sound advice: WHEN you send your husband down to the pharmacy to get you something, BE as SPECIFIC as POSSIBLE. Don't send him for a "nasal decongestant." TELL HIM which one you want. Text it to him or write it down on a piece of paper and pin it to his shirt. Trust me on this. I've been on the pharmacy side of this too long now and I'm here to help you. Help me help you to get what you want by following this advice.

I know you women well enough to know that if you've sent your man down to the pharmacy to get you Zyrtec that I won't send him home with the store brand saving you $10. I know not to do that. I know you won't be happy and you can trust that I will make sure your husband gets exactly what you asked for, but you have to help a little by being extremely specific. If you want Zyrtec-D, make sure you say the D part or he's going to show up with Zyrtec and you're going to be unhappy and withhold sports, sex, or food. And as a guy myself it's up to me to help my brothers out there so I'm telling you, BE SPECIFIC.

Ok, thanks. Bye.

It was Created by a School Teacher!

Yep, that's what she said to me. I didn't go seeking a fight. She started it. She asked me where we keep the Airborn. I told her. She couldn't find it. She came back. So I left the "box" to go show her. There it was, right next to the OTHER vitamins and right where I told her it would be.

"Oh, this is great stuff," she says. "Every time I feel a little sick, I take this and I don't get sick. It was invented by a school teacher, you know."

"That's what I heard," I replied. I kept my poker face on. I'm not in the mood for a fight.

"My doctor told me about this stuff. Sure enough, he was right."

I kept a straight face, but inside my eyes are rolling like mad. Maybe she sensed I was not on board with the whole miracle of Airborn, but whatever it was she started picking a fight with me.

"Don't you believe my doctor?" she asked.

"Maybe it works for you," I replied, "but it's only vitamins and minerals and a few herbals thrown in. I honestly don't think that's going to cure a cold, and suggesting that it does is irresponsible."

"YOU'RE WRONG! You're bought off like the rest of the drug industry! Don't you know IT WAS CREATED BY A SCHOOL TEACHER!?"

She's acting like that's her ultimate trump card. She smiles. She's defeated me. I am there, on the floor, bloodied, wounded, half dead. She's about to walk away when I said, "Plumbers are great with pipes, but I'm not going to have one design a heart valve for me."

<Humphfttt!> The lady trots off.

And just so you know, a $30 million dollar settlement said:

“There is no credible evidence that Airborne products, taken as directed, will reduce the severity or duration of colds, or provide any tangible benefit for people who are exposed to germs in crowded places,” said Lydia Parnes, Director of the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection. See LINK.

But what would you expect them to say? I'm sure they're "bought off" just like me.

Live Funny and Prosper on Sunday

Kit's Katurday, May 2013

Hello. My name is Kit. I am a cat. Like many of my brothers and sisters, I have my own home and have several humans as my caretakers and pets. I am part of the global cat conspiracy to control humans. As part of this conspiracy, I have taken control of the Crazy RxMan blog for my own purposes. I'm letting the "Cat out of the bag" by telling you humans that we only act cute or look silly as a way to take control of your human minds. All the kitties and cats on the Internet are part of our global plot of world domination. And it works. For example, I know you, HUMAN, will look through these pictures and your "ahhhhs" and "isn't that cute" will create certain connections among the neurons in your brain for our future purposes. You are unable to resist as we take control, so you might as well enjoy it. Here, my human, is the first installment of Kit's Katurday:

We're too cute to resist.

Some of us have mustaches:

We make you humans doodle about us:

We allow you to dress us up as part of our mind control:

We don't drink alcohol. But it is how we control YOU:

Your mind says "Oh, so cute." Domination proceeding:

Our larger brothers and sisters are in on it too:

Yeah, some of us are fat. So?

We have moves:

We have our own forms of propaganda:

We are crafty like pirates:

Sometimes we can't resist and we eat you:

This is how we make sure you feed us:

A cat that lived on a diet of McDonalds? One of my brothers did this to gain human sympathizers. It worked.

Read HERE.

This is actually one of our leaders.

He helps coordinate efforts in the field:

We fund many of our global domination activities

with our own products, such as this silly hat.

Our training begins at an early age:

We rest a lot to conserve our energy

for the day we take over entirely:

Some of your appliances are actually

just for us. Stop using them:

We run experiments on you

to determine your weaknesses:

So now you know our plot. But there's NOTHING you can do about it. YOU are being assimilated, one cute kitten at a time. And I'm not "kitten" around. Muahahahahaha!

A Cool Skin for your Gadget

New gadget? New Tool? Need something to keep it in? This cool website offers "skins" for just about anything. And they're "battle ready." For invading Koreans or Zombies, I don't know.

Skinths are made from 1000D PU coated CORDURA® nylon, which has proven itself to be battlefield ready and tested. In most cases, matching industrial coated polyester thread is used. Some models have contrasting colour stitching.

Check out the SKINTH website for more info.

Bloodsucking Vampire

Check out this new blood glucose monitor. Apparently this will make blood glucose testing FUN.

No matter your age, having a finger pricked to measure your blood sugar levels is scary! Also, no matter your age, you gotta love a tamagotchi! This creative glucose monitoring system combines the two, making the process of pricking fingers as fun as it possibly can be. Simply place a finger inside the cute vampire character’s mouth, push slowly to activate the needle, & touch the strip. The smartphone/tablet app will sync & analyze the data while an animated vampire pops up to deliver the results!

Here's the LINK for this VAMPIRE BLOOD GLUCOSE MONITOR.

I'm going to take my business ELSEWHERE!

A man hands the tech an empty bottle from a competitor. He wants a transfer. He left before she had a chance to tell him there are no refills remaining on the medication. As is customary, we fax the doctor for a new prescription. Surprisingly it comes back later in the day and we fill it. The man shows up the next day to pick up the med and gleefully asks for his $30 transfer gift card. I explain the situation and that since it is technically a new Rx, we can't do the gift card.  That's just company policy.

He gets mad. He says the whole reason he transferred it in the first place was because he wanted the gift card. I look on the computer and look at his profile and see that he's actually been transferring to other locations as well, probably collecting a $30 gift card at each of those locations too.

"I'm going to take my business ELSEWHERE!" he yells at me. I reply, "Sir, it looks like you've been taking your business EVERYWHERE!"