Thursday, February 12, 2015

The SECRET is OUT!

Ms. Pink Eye: "Maybe you can help me?  I woke up and my eye is weeping.  It is all red and it itches."

I look at the eye.  It looks like pink eye.  I'm not an MD, but it looks like pink eye to me.


Me: "You probably have conjunctivitis.  You need to see a doctor and get an antibiotic for your eye."


Ms. Pink Eye: "Do you have an eye drop I can put in my eye?"


Me: "No, you need an antibiotic.  We don't have antibiotic eye drops.  You need to see your doctor."


Ms. Pink Eye: "My eye doctor?  He's so far away.  What can I treat it with at home?"


Ms. Pink Eye keeps rubbing the red eye and touching everything around her.  The counter, the point of sale machine, the pen.  I'm keeping track so I can disinfect after she leaves.


Me: "There's nothing you can treat it with at home.  And you can see your regular doctor.  Eyesight is precious and you need to see a doctor."


Ms. Pink Eye: "Well I've never been allergic to anything before.  Can I just take Claritin?"


Me: "This is not something you can treat by yourself.  You need to see a doctor and get a prescription for an antibiotic.  It's not allergies.  It's an infection."


Ms. Pink Eye: "You can get an infection in your eyes?  I've never had one before!"


Me: "Yes, you can get an infection in your eyes.  Call your doctor and make an appointment for today, or go to the walk-in clinic on the corner out front."


Ms. Pink Eye: "Don't YOU have an eye drop I can buy to put in my eye?"


THEY'RE ON TO US.  Somehow, somewhere, someday they're all going to figure out that we pharmacists have a CURE for EVERYTHING that we keep secretly hidden at the pharmacy!


I sigh.  Now we're starting to cover the same ground again, and since she's going to start repeating herself, I guess I'll repeat myself too."



Me: "This is not something you can treat by yourself.  You need to see a doctor and get a prescription for an antibiotic. It's not allergies.  It's an infection."

Ms. Pink Eye: "You can get an infection in your eyes?"

I sigh again.  

Me: "Ok then, see your doctor.  Get that prescription and get better!"

I walk away.

Five minutes later I look down aisle seven as I'm hosing the counter with alcohol.  She's looking at the Clear Eye OTC medicines and scratching her eye, then making sure she touches everything around her.







8 comments:

Officer Cynical said...

Imagine if she'd had a UTI.

Anonymous said...

Here if you get pink eye it's so contagious my company puts you on mandatory sick leave for 3 days . You should have seized the opportunity for some time off.

Anonymous said...

The general public is so effing stupid. We're in need of a good plague that infects people with low IQ.

Anonymous said...

why cant u gv her chloramphenicol eyedrop or ointment? it can be given without prescription, right?

Anonymous said...

Wait until she returns with homeopathic pink eye drops.

Anonymous said...

I would have told her she was suffering from early-stage Ebola and needed to get the hell out of my pharmacy right NOW!

Anonymous said...

Crazy Rx Man, you have exposed the raw nerve of the pharmacy customer's great obsession, which is, "Why do I have to move from this spot, when what I want is right here in this room, and you have the power to physically hand it to me?" Yes, it is as if we are deliberately denying the person access to the "cure," and he or she cannot understand that we are part of a healthcare SYSTEM, that we are not healthcare incarnate. It is their sense of DENIAL that keeps that audio loop running, the broken record of repetition of demands. I once heard a pharmacist give the same answer to the same question ELEVEN TIMES IN A ROW. That's the record, in my experience: ELEVEN.

Anonymous said...

Nope.