Is Your Nose Crooked?

If so, Japan has a device to solve your problem. For only $51 and 20 minutes a day you can have a perfectly aligned nose. Just get the Hana Tsun Nose Straightener and fix it!

"Hana" means nose in Japanese, while "tsun" means to perk or stick up, just like a nose should (physically, not metaphorically!). After slipping this clip gently into your nostrils, the supports on either side will help balance and push up the bones and contours of your nose, so it has an overall sharper, straighter shape, less round and more graceful.

I can only imagine what they have for poor Fletcher's "Short, shriveled and always to the left" problem.