It's an ILLUSION

It's when upper management tells you they're on your side, they appreciate all the hard work you do, that they're doing "everything" they can to get your more technician help, software updates, a higher inventory... you name it, they're doing it FOR YOU...

But it's really just an illusion. What you think you heard from them is not really what's going on. Don't fall for it.

Too many zeroes

In a previous career, you ordered things by the PIECE. If you wanted 100 of something, whether it came in a pack of 10 or 20 or 100, you ordered 100 and everyone knew what you wanted and it was delivered accordingly.

In PHARMACY, you order by pack size.

Yeah, I learned that the hard way.

During my first month as a pharmacist, I had to place an order using a website directly linked to our supplier. I needed to order generic extra strength Vicodin. It comes in bottles of 100 and 500. I needed to order a bottle of 100 as a special order. So yeah, I put in the quantity 100.

The next day I work the late shift. I walk into the pharmacy. The pharmacy manager is on the other side of the room.  She raises a finger in a "come here" gesture and says "Mr. RxMan...  come here." She asks how I'm doing. This is instantly troubling for she never expressed any interest in how I was doing before. I said "Fine." She says, "Have you seen the back room yet?"  I walk back there to find 10 boxes of 10 bottles each of 100 count generic Vicodin ES. No one at the supplier who packed the delivery thought this was unusual. Neither did the driver. They just delivered them without asking, and here they are at my feet. Although the tech was getting a big kick out of it, the pharmacy manager was not amused.

Miss No Additives

No Additives Allowed

People come up to the pharmacy all the time and just stare at the wall of cough/cold selections.  Most people come up, see what they want, then grab it and leave. But some are compelled to just stare, like they're in a trance or waiting for one of the packages to talk to them. If I'm busy I just keep what I'm doing and figure if they really need help they'll let me know. But if I'm not busy, I feel compelled to ask them if they need help. That's my downfall. I care too much.

Today a lady is staring. I'm not busy. You know this is going to be good, right? "Hi, do you need some help?" You always have to have an introduction with this company. Hi, hello... something.  It's good customer service. They told me so. Had my own business for 15 years, but I need a corporation to tell me how to conduct customer service.
 

Anyway, she says she needs a cough suppressant without any of those "additives." I'm not sure what she means, so I come out front to look at the selections. I'm deciphering that what she means is that she wants just a cough suppressant, not a multi-symptom formulation. So I show her the cough suppressant selections... but I'm overwhelmed by the stench of alcohol and cigarette smoke and her missing teeth. She's obviously just returned from the local pub and stopped by to get... you know... something for her cough, but it better not have any of those additives.
 

And then I noticed in her cart not one, not two, but three cases of beer. I'm not a beer person.  I don't even drink. But I can tell the difference between top brand and bottom brand beer. In her cart are three cases of what must be the cheapest beer you can buy. This lady, reeking of smoke and beer, obviously on her way to some high class party, is overly concerned that she get a cough suppressant without "additives."

I'm making a new word. It's called Phirony. That's short for Pharmacy-Irony.

Sunday, it's a FUN day

In Russia, Spoon Bend You

I'm old enough to remember seeing Johnny Carson ask Uri Geller to bend some spoons on The Tonight Show years ago. Geller wasn't "feeling up to it" that night and ended up not performing his usual trick. What Geller needed was this new gadget, a bendable spoon!

Imagine the fun you can have at the Bird Cage Theater in Tombstone, Arizona, by having a couple of these in your pocket! All the nutty ghost hunters will salivate like Pavlov's dogs when the lights go out and then mysteriously the bent spoons appear! Oh man, I'm ordering some of these!

Mousetrap Prank

Don't try this at home.

Unless you have a video recording device.

Cordless Back Pain Remover

New Gadget: The Cordless Neuromuscular Back Pain Reliever

This new device "employs Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS), harmless electrical pulses that block pain signals passing through nerves to the brain. The system also increases blood flow to the area to promote healing and relaxation. According to the American Physical Therapy Association, TENS therapy can be an effective element of pain management for low-intensity discomfort."

No word yet if the company plans to make a Cordless Pain-in-the-Ass Reliever which would certainly help me deal with both my Pain-in-the-Ass patients and the Pain-in-the-Ass company I work for. It might be a long time before production since we're talking about HIGH-intensity discomfort.