Monday, March 23, 2015

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Ms. Small Bottles

Prescription for generic Fioricet, number 120. Sometimes we take 20 tablets out of one bottle and put them in with a bottle of 100. This saves time and recycles. We're a green company, you know. In fact, a few years ago the company had thousands of flyers printed up that said we're a green company.

Anyway, Ms. Small Bottles comes to pick up the medication. It's one of those Qualitest bottles which are almost the size of a soda can. Technician Flynn is ringing her up.

"What is that?" she asks.

"It's your prescription. Generic Fioricet. #120. We added 20 to this bottle of 100."

"I told you I wanted everything in small bottles."

"To my knowledge, I have never heard you make that request."

"I ask for small bottles every time I'm here," she snaps back, with attitude. I'm filling scripts a few feet away but I hear the whole thing. I stay far away from this woman because you'll grow a beard by the time she's done talking to you.

Ms. Small Bottles takes the big bottle and leaves.

TWO DAYS LATER.... I'm alone on the weekend. Ms. Small Bottles is here for generic Soma, #120. She had requested them, did some shopping, and now's she's back to get them.

I place three small bottles on the counter, all labeled, with 40 tablets in each bottle. 3 x 40 = 120. Thank you, Common Core.

"What is this?" she asks.

"It's your prescription. Generic Soma. #120."

"Why is it in three small bottles?" she asks.

"That's what YOU asked for on Friday. You asked that all your medication be dispensed in small bottles."

"I never made such a request. Never! Why would I ask for that?"

She pays and leaves. I'm sure she has 15 or more cats to feed at home. And once again, I'm confused beyond belief. I just don't understand people.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Her Attitude Stunned Me!

"Hello, this is Urgent Pain Care Extra Extra. May I help you?"

Me: "I'd like to talk with Nurse Practioner Oxynow regarding a prescription she wrote today."

"Please hold."

<five minutes pass>

"Hello, this is Urgent Pain Care Extra Extra. May I help you?"

Me: "Yes, I was holding to speak to Nurse Oxynow."

"Please hold."

<three minutes pass>


"My name is Crazy RxMan with Goofmart Pharmacy. We've been getting prescriptions written by you for a Miss Back Pain for a couple of weeks now."


"Well, you've been writing for seven days supplies on this medication but the patient has been seeing you every three to four days."


"So, she's taking more of the medication than prescribed."


"The patient tells me you tell her to take two tablets every six hours instead of the way it is written which is one tablet every six hours."

"Yes. So?"

"I don't understand how you don't see the problem here. If you want her to take more of the medication, you need to prescribe it that way. As it is, this will catch the attention of the board of pharmacy if it hasn't already."


"So that could mean trouble for both of us. May we change the instructions to two every six hours?"


This is the first time I've encountered such a belligerent prescriber of a controlled substance. I told the patient if the next prescription comes in written the way it was before we won't fill it. But I have no doubt there will be no change on the next prescription. 

Yet another reason to dislike pain management clinics.