A Miniature Christmas Story

Hello. My name is ManWolfCombo. That's not really my name, but my old man says I shouldn't use my real name on the internet. My old man is taking the day off for his birthday so I'm writing today's blog post for him. Please join me as I write about a birthday gift from his sister.

It came in this box. My old man wondered if it was Italian because it appears Fra-Gee-Lay, but I told him it just might be fragile. It looks like A Christmas Story Leg Lamp to me:

When he opened the top, it looked like there could be anything in there! Maybe it's the deed to a bowling alley, for all we know.

My old man kept pulling out stuffing and my brother thought maybe they forgot to put something in there, but finally it was revealed:

And there it was. The leg lamp. My old man said THIS is art, like a statue, and immediately pronounced it "indescribably beautiful."

I suppose he'll want to treat it like a "major award" and put it in the window...

But I don't think the neighbor kid will like it too much. After all, he has yellow eyes. So help me, yellow eyes!

This is Me...

When I'm busy in the pharmacy

and someone interrupts me...

HIPAA Protection

A dad comes in with his little girl to pick up a prescription for his wife. The little girl is very excited because dad lets her push the buttons on the point of sale device. The script is for generic Percocet and this is a new customer for us. Why? Because their regular Goofmart Pharmacy didn't have enough to fill the prescription and they sent him here. What kind of pharmacy manager doesn't have enough generic Percocet on hand just before Thanksgiving? Heck if I know, but that's another story for another day.

Since the patient is new to us, we need an acknowledgement for HIPAA, which I explain to the dad. He signs the acknowledgement. The little girl, bewildered, asks:

"Why are they protecting hippo privacy?" Good question, young lady. I don't know. She was so little and cute, I couldn't help but start laughing. Then she asked why I was laughing. Then the dad started laughing.

Kiss My Booboo

Hope was back on Monday. She was high on something and wanted a flu shot. She's been getting way too much Xanax lately but the doc just keeps giving her more and approving early refills. 

We were quite busy so I asked her to wait in our expensive waiting room. She was in there for about three minutes then wandered off for about ten minutes. Then she came back up to the pharmacy window and asked for a flu shot like she wasn't aware she had already asked for one. So, I thought, I'll play along. I sent her to the waiting room, again.

Flu shots on Monday really suck, but this time I made other pharmacy patrons wait while I prepared a flu shot. I'm NOT going to let this old pain in the ass get me fired because I didn't give her a flu shot within her predetermined time limit. 

So I ask a tech to join me in the flu shot room. I need a witness. I refuse to play my amusement game like I do with other people. It doesn't matter. Hope has her own amusement ready...

I give her the shot and fold over the bandaid using my time saving technique. And then she said it...

"Ouch! Kiss my booboo!"

Ewwwwwwww!

Sometimes "NO" is What is BEST for the Patient

Two weeks ago... Trudy appeared at the pharmacy window.

"Mickey isn't here?" she asks.

She's asking about our pharmacy manager. On this particular day I'm here in the morning. Mickey will be here in the late afternoon.

"No, he'll be here at 4pm today."

"Oh. I just need a couple of tablets of morphine to get me through until my appointment tomorrow."

I'm silent, waiting for her to ask me to give her morphine so I can tell her no.

"I suppose I should just come back when Mickey is here."

"He'll be here at 4pm today."

I don't know exactly what arrangement Mickey has with this lady and morphine and I'm sure I don't want to know. Mickey bends the rules, a lot. But that makes him a popular pharmacist.

She turns to leave, then steps back up to the counter.

"You know, I'm NOT a BAD person," she says, with emphasis.

I have absolutely NO IDEA what she's talking about. Perhaps she's inferring that I have passed judgement because I have told her no in the past. I don't know.

"I never thought that you were," was all I could reply.

One week ago... I see a card that was left on the counter. I guess it was purposely left on the counter for me to see and read.

"Mickey, I wanted to thank you for all your help and support. I believe that YOU truly CARE and I cannot tell you how much that means to me. Thank you so much for your care and support and for believing in me. I will get there someday and I will have ONLY YOU to thank. Signed, Trudy"

Well isn't that sweet.

Today... Trudy is here at the pharmacy again. She looks like she hasn't bathed in two days. Her hair is a mess and she looks grubby. She wants to know when Mickey will be back at the pharmacy. She's obviously out of her week supply from the doctor, again.

Here's the problem with pharmacists that feel bad for patients and "loan" them a few tablets of narcotics until they go see their doctor and get a new script: You see, doctors write specific regimens on their scripts. If they prescribe 7 tablets for 7 days, they expect the patient to take one tablet a day. By giving patients a few tablets before they actually have a new script, the pharmacist is interfering with the doctor's plans, especially in cases where the doc is trying to wean the patient off the narcotics. And when the patient runs out, they go back to the pharmacist that "believes" in them... AND the doctor has no idea that the patient isn't being compliant with his/her treatment.

Mickey, all good intentions aside, is actually making it harder for Trudy to get off her medication entirely, and unfortunately, Trudy doesn't get that. She just sees me as the mean pharmacist who doesn't care.

Doing what is best for the patient doesn't always mean giving them whatever they want.

Mandatory Conference Calls

We had another conference call. No, let me rephrase. It was a MANDATORY conference call. On that date you have to dial into the conference center 30 minutes before the pharmacy opens and listen to the precious gems of wisdom for the day.

What I've noticed about these conference calls is that the subject matter is basic, every day information that could be sent out via email. There really is no reason for a conference call. To explain how simplistic these calls are, I shall compare it to running a kitchen in your home:

"Thank you for calling in for the conference call today. We have some very important announcements and procedures to go over, so if you could please mute your phones to eliminate background noise, we'll get started."

About 5-10 people do not mute their phones... background noise continues...

Marybeth, RPM: "First up is the refrigerator. It is IMPERATIVE that you CLOSE the refrigerator when not in use. It has a door which you OPEN, then after you remove something, you CLOSE it. We're keeping track of how many times you keep the door open and for how long. Emails will be sent out telling you when you're over your limit for time allotted to keep it open. Does everyone understand?"  

No response from the crowd, but you can hear a pharmacist whispering to a tech even though her phone is supposed to be muted.

"Please mute your phones so we may continue. Joe, what's next?"

<beep down> Someone hangs up.

Joe, RPM: "Next up is the food. Please do not cook and dispense expired food items. These need to be quarantined and removed from the other food items."

<beep up> Someone joins the conference call late.

"Also remember not to order too much food to cook before the end of the year. We want to have our kitchens lean by the end of the year. We need to close out our books on December 31 with as little food as possible in the kitchen. Does that make sense to everyone?"

No response from the crowd.

<Beep down> <Beep down> <Beep down> Three people hang up.

"Ok, Bruce, what's next?"

Bruce, Pharmacy Director: "You folks have both stoves and microwave ovens. It is critical that you use these devices to HEAT food BUT use the refrigerator to keep food COLD. We can't overemphasize that enough. You will be receiving sign-off sheets on this which both the pharmacy manager and staff pharmacist will need to sign every day acknowledging this. Please create a new binder to file this paperwork. The company will be sending out auditors to check these binders on a random basis. Are there any questions?"

A pharmacist speaks up, "Will we need separate binders for the refrigerator and the stove/microwave?"

Bruce: "Corporate hasn't decided yet. As of now, let's have everyone keep two binders. Ok, go open your kitchens. Good discussion, everyone."

<beep down> <beep down> <beep down>... Everyone disconnects...

One Last Bit of Funnies to Tickle you in November