Saturday, September 5, 2015

Driving WITH Miss Darcy

Miss Darcy is a family member of mine. She's a sweet lady but has her own idiosyncrasies that we've just come to know as "That's just Darcy." For example, go on a multi-car trip with Miss Darcy and no matter where you stop, Miss Darcy insists on filling up with gas. There's no getting around that. You may have driven thirty miles out of town and have 90% of your tank full of gas, but Miss Darcy wants to fill up. 

One time she locked her keys in her car on the way over for Thanksgiving dinner... everyone was already waiting, but she had to stop at the local high school to do laps around the track to make room for dinner. She insists that the laps make it easier to eat more turkey, and maybe they do, but I don't know anyone else running laps just before Thanksgiving. That's just Darcy!


The other day I had to go somewhere with Miss Darcy. She says she'll drive. Sure, I says, why not? Well, the concerning part is that she offered to drive. I don't recall driving around with Miss Darcy too much, but one memory does stick out in my mind... I was driving with her to drop off her car at this one particular automotive place (there's ones closer, but Miss Darcy INSISTS that she has to go to the one far away even if it is just an oil change). 


She's on a busy street and turns left onto another street NOT NOTICING the car barreling down the road toward us! Somehow the car swerved and missed us. Miss Darcy didn't even notice but my pants were wet. I was in the passenger seat and if the car had hit us... it would have clobbered me FIRST. I never told Miss Darcy what happened that day because she would have told me that she had plenty of room to turn and probably would have said I was making it all up anyway. That's just Darcy.

Anyway, back to the outing... so we're driving down the road. Miss Darcy has this way of driving... hmmm... how to explain.... I haven't looked but it's like she's got both feet on petals. One is on the gas and the other is on the brake. If she's not accelerating with her right foot she's immediately braking with the other foot. So it's constant stop and go jerking as she drives down the road. The other thing she likes to do is make big adjustments to the steering wheel. It's like being on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland. It actually makes me sick to the stomach but that's just Darcy. 


We're on a two lane road and she's in the right lane. We're coming up to a light and there's a car in the left lane waiting at the light. The light turns green and the car starts to accelerate. For some unknown reason, Miss Darcy gets in the left lane behind the other car and starts braking. She didn't need to change lanes (we were a good two miles from needing to turn left) and she could have sped past the car to get in the left lane anyway. She also didn't need to brake as the other car was moving away but Miss Darcy slams on the brakes. Ugh, there goes my stomach again. 


This time I couldn't be silent. I said, "You know, you didn't need to stop."


"YES I DID! DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT GUY STOPPED AT THE LIGHT?"


"The light was green, Darcy, and that guy was moving forward."


"NO HE WASN'T. YOU'RE MAKING THAT UP. I'M A GOOD DRIVER. I'VE HAD MANY PEOPLE TELL ME I'M A GOOD DRIVER. I'M A GOOD DRIVER!"


Oh well, that's just Darcy!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Refer to Dr. Grumpy to have him provide medical assessment to dissuade/revoke driving privileges.

The rest of us out there on the road thank you.