Saturday, August 27, 2016

Miss Loosey gets BOTOX!

Miss Loosey, our favorite Medicaid patient, stormed into the pharmacy the other day demanding to talk to the pharmacist.

She's upset because one eyelid is droopy. And yes, it's clearly droopy. 

"Don't you have something I can buy to put in my eye to fix this?" she asks.

This is the same woman that argued with me about a Benedryl generic for a sleep aid because it doesn't say "sleep aid" on the box.

In the land of Snootyville, physical appearance is king. Miss Loosey was convinced she needed Botox injections in her eyebrows to raise them... you know... to make her more attractive... to jump start her singing career. She paid someone here in the Tri-county area $1,000 for the injections. Obviously some of the Botox made it's way to the eyelid and is causing the droopy eyelid.

Let's ignore the fact that she's able to afford $1,000 Botox injections but can't pay for her medication. Really, just push it out of your mind. There's nothing wrong with the system.

Now, men out there... when a woman asks you if she looks fat... you do know what to do, right? Same thing here. I told Miss Loosey it wasn't really noticeable. In reality, she looks like she's been in a heavyweight fight.

I told her this is out of my expertise but that it will probably go away once the Botox leaches out of her body. I didn't want to use the words "nerve damage." I thought them, but I didn't say them. 

I'm learning to keep my mouth shut, people. There might be hope for me after all.

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