Monday, October 15, 2018

Stick a Fork in Me, I'm Done

So this lady brings in her two twin boys for flu shots. Why me? Because they’re busy at the two competitors close by and she doesn’t want to wait until tomorrow because she says her boys are mentally “all prepped.”

First we have the usual insurance “twin” problem. I get mom and one kid processed. It’s 6pm now and the last tech has to go. We know corporate will have an absolute cow if he clocks out past eight hours, so I send him off know that I'm in for it.

So I prepare three syringes with a silent prayer in my heart.

Mom wants to do her shot first to show the boys it’s no big deal. They’re like monkeys at the zoo with feces flying everywhere. Grandma is watching one jumping on a chair in the waiting room. The other refuses to watch and slams the door to the flu shot room shut. So much for all that "mental preparation."

I do her flu shot. Then she grabs the first kid. He won’t hold still or list to reason and she has a hard time holding him down. He made a big deal out of nothing and then forced out tears just to be a brat. 

Then they get the brother who sees his twin crying and he starts throwing a screaming fit. And of course he’s wearing a long sleeve shirt. Honestly, why do people not understand that this is a barrier to getting a flu shot?

Twin two is screaming and blubbering and whining like a total brat. Finally I grab his arm to do it. Then the little brat tries to bite me. Yes, he tried to bite me. His mother held his mouth with one hand and his torso with the other.

Somehow I get the flu shot administered. 

It didn’t bleed but he’s screaming so loud I have to yell to explain he doesn’t need a band aid. Then grandma yells back at me, "Give him a damn band aid!" So I put one on his arm. You'd think maybe he'd calm down? No. He starts screaming louder

I'm seriously done with the flu shot crap.


Anonymous said...

I am going to the local health department on Wed. to get my flu shot. I sure hope I don't have live entertainment like that while I am there.

Living Life on 95 said...

I saw a sign at one of my local pharmacies saying that they give pet shots now.

Anonymous said...

One of the main reasons I went to pharmacy school rather than pursue another healthcare profession was so I DIDN'T have to touch the great unwashed masses (AKA patients). Thirty-eight years in and I have managed to escape the task of giving shots to animals...sorry, customers.