Tuesday, January 13, 2015

The Magic Insurance

Some people have magic prescription insurance. They don't need to know what it is to get their prescription filled... because IT'S MAGIC:

Lady comes in with a new prescription...

"I want to get this filled..."

Really? I thought you were going to make a paper airplane out of it. Seriously, we know the routine. You don't need to tell us that.

"...and I have new insurance..."

These words cause every pharmacist or pharmacy technician incredible dread and despair.

"...but I don't have the card. I called and they gave me my ID number and told me to tell you it is Well-I'll-Be-Healthy-Net."

Great. Well-Net has like 173 different combinations, all with different BIN, PCN, and group codes. The menu choices at Cheesecake Factory is smaller.

That's nice that you have your ID number. But did they give you the BIN, PCN, and Group?

"Oh, oh, group! Yes, it's GOLD group!"

This lady honestly thinks at this point we have EVERYTHING to process her prescription. What an L7 weenie!

"And what about the BIN and PCN?"

<blank stare> Her eyes glance over to the computer, and then she says the magic words...

"Can't you just look it up?"

I refrain from throwing my lab jacket on the floor and shrieking down the aisle as I leave this God-forbidden business known as retail pharmacy. This is it! I can't take it anymore! Run, Crazy RxMan! Run! Get out! Get away from this place, burn it to the ground, and never look back!

I respond, apologetically... "No."

Somewhere, somehow, I know Babe Ruth is disappointed in me.

I ask a technician to take a look at the situation while I go to counsel a lady with questions about her vaginal discharge. What a fun job. Yep, Forbes was right, this IS the job you want, people.

The tech spends THE NEXT 30 MINUTES on the phone with The Beast (known as Well-Net) trying to track down the lady's billing information. While the tech was on the phone, I had another tech at lunch, and the gods decided this is THE half hour of the day when 22% of the day's scripts would be filled, which ALL fell on my head. I was busier than Squints checking out Wendy Peffercorn on a hot summer day!

PEOPLE, for the love of all that's HOLY, please, please, please get your complete billing information from your insurance BEFORE you come to the pharmacy!

By the way, The Sandlot is on the RxMan's list of the top five movies of all time. Here's why.


Anonymous said...

The Sandlot is a truly awesome movie!

82medici said...

While I can understand your frustration with most of this encounter, an opening comment of "I need this filled" seems perfectly reasonable, and I don't understand your snide comment in reference to that. Would you rather your customer just walk up and say "Here" while shoving the script over the counter?

Crazy RxMan said...

When you go to the movie theater, you don't walk up to the window and say, "I'd like to buy a movie ticket."

Why? The fact that you're there implies that you're there to see a movie.

Saying "I'd like to buy a movie ticket" is not only completely unnecessary, it also takes time away from the patrons behind you are also ONLY there to buy a movie ticket.

In likewise fashion, with a prescription IN YOUR HAND, telling the pharmacist or technician that you would like to get it filled is redundant and unnecessary. Why else would you be there? Because you want me to fold the paper into a paper airplane and sail it off? No, of course you're there to get it filled, otherwise you wouldn't be there.

So yeah, just handing me the prescription and saying nothing or simply "here" seems perfectly reasonable to me. But when you mentioned the word "shove," it reminded me of another drop off technique people use that I've commented about before. See: http://bit.ly/14waRHO

Crazy RxMan said...

BTW, I was even more "snide" in this blog post from the past: http://bit.ly/1sv2kk0