Saturday, August 29, 2015


Women are a funny lot, especially MARRIED women. Almost all women, when they’re married, go out of their way to make sure you understand that status. Usually the giant rock on their hand is a big giveaway, but some still want to make sure you know.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that there’s a fine line between just being nice and/or friendly and flirting, but if there is any question about that in a woman’s mind, she’s going to let you know her married status as fast as possible.


Lady picks up prescription

Me: “What is your birth date?”

Lady: “12/7/1972.”

Me, trying to be nice: “Well you look really good for your age.”

Lady: “That’s what my HUSBAND says too!” (emphasis added).

Consequently, any future interaction with this lady will now include flashing the left hand around and/or mentioning the husband in some way.

One time I had to call a lady about a vaginal medication. So when she answered the phone, I verified that it was her and told her who I am, then said:

“I need to ask you a personal question.”

Lady: “Oh… well.... my husband is right here, let me put you on speaker phone.”

So we conducted the discussion within earshot of her husband. Apparently in her relationship, all personal questions are addressed as a couple. Damn, there went my new strategy to hit on women by talking about their vaginal products.

Another lady… and this one I don’t understand at all… she’s about my age, and I admit I was in the habit of flirting with her. After about the third time she was in, she told me that she was married and that she’ll have to have her single sister come in and see me because I’m such a nice guy. There must be 10 million of these “single sisters” out there somewhere, but I’ve yet to actually meet one. So I stopped flirting with the lady. She mentioned the husband and that’s announcing to the world LEAVE ME ALONE. So I did.

Now when she comes in, though… she acts hugely disappointed that I’m not flirting with her anymore. She’ll even try to throw me a line to try and get it out of me:


Lady: “I had my hair done. What do you think?”

Me: “Oh I didn’t notice.”

Lady: <crest fallen>


Anonymous said...

If you think 43 is old, wow. just wow. Telling any woman she looks "good for her age" implies she is old. Just say,you look nice today have a great day.

Anonymous said...

'You look really good for your age.'. You said that to someone who was born AFTER I was born? HEY!!!! I'm offended. I need a generic angry sign. Btw, I look damn hot. I look hotter than my 20 year olds. :D But, alas - I am married.

Anonymous said...

You said "She mentioned the husband and that’s announcing to the world LEAVE ME ALONE." I don't read it that way. Married women often reference their husbands. I interpreted it as that she really likes you and while she herself can't pursue you, she has a sister. You should have just said, "If your sister is half as nice as you are, I can't wait to meet her." (Assuming you're available, that is.)