Saturday, May 28, 2016

It Starts with an "M"

"Where's your mouthwash?" she asked.

"It's on aisle eight," I reply, "On the left."

"I was just there. I didn't see my mouthwash. I can't think of the name of it. It starts with an 'M'."

"I'm sorry, I don't know mouthwashes, and I'm not good at Scattergories."

<blank stare>

I step to the computer and type in "Mouthwashes that begin with M" into a Google search. I find a website that lists about 20 different brands. I start asking her, going down the list. And none of them start with 'M'.

<blank stare>

"I'm sorry, maybe someone from the front of the store can..."

Lady walks away. Not a word, not an insult, nothing. She just walks away from me before I can finish my sentence.

I feel inadequate now. Someone please hold me.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mouthbreathing idiot comes running up to the counter and stands about 2 ft away from me.

MI: "Hey. HEY. HEY YOU!"

Me stuck on the phone with a doctor and every tech busy helping customers.

Me: "Um, sorry doc, one sec. Excuse me?"

MI: "Yeah, you HAVE to help me! NOW!"

Me: "Oh my, what's wrong? Is this an emergency?" By now, every single person at the counter and waiting in line is staring at this moron.

MI: "An emergency? Why would you say THAT? Don't you work here? You HAVE to help me!"

Me: *sigh* "Ok? How can I help you?"

MI: "Is the RedBull on sale?"

Me: .......

MI: "Well?!? Is IT? Don't you speak English?" (and yes, I'm a minority)

By then, I'm speechless and filled with rage. Thankfully, one of the front end managers had been close by and stepped in on my behalf and threw his dumbass out of the store to the applause of everyone else in the pharmacy. Totally made my day.

Meanwhile,

Doc on the phone: "Jesus, did that actually happen?"

Me: "Yeah, just a small taste of what we have to deal with everyday. Awesome, right?"