What Happened to Gratitude?

People leave the medication they picked up at the pharmacy in the grocery cart. It happens a lot. People get in a hurry, load their car with grocery bags, then speed off forgetting all about their medication.

Sometimes another customer will find the bag and return it to the store. Most often it is found by a clerk wrangling up shopping carts. In one way or another it ends up back at the pharmacy where we open the bag, ascertain the owner of the contents, and give them a call.

One time we had a really fun run-in with one of high and mighty regulars. I would expect attitude from her, but not anyone else. If you're curious, read about that story HERE. But lately, however, when regular "normal" people come down to get their medication that was unknowingly left behind they fail to show any courtesy or gratitude for our efforts. It's not like we have done a lot, but we did manage to give them a call. And lately, instead of gratitude, people act like they're mad at US because they left their medication in the shopping cart. How could it possibly be our fault? Are they also mad at us if they lock their keys in their car?

So I hope this trend stops quickly because I'm just not getting it.

This is Me...

When I have to sneak out of the pharmacy

to get something to eat FAST!

How I Amuse Myself while giving Flu Shots

*Looking at flu shot syringe... "Ok, here's your new home little guy!"

"Ok, let me turn on the microchip first then we'll be ready to go!"

*Looks at clipboard with puzzled expression... "It's going to be all right."

"The technician dared me to try this with my eyes closed. Are you game?"

*drops fake syringe... "Oops... let me just dust this off real fast and..."

* Holds fake flu shot syringe IN MOUTH... "Okdnd I'm gonrnds gidle yoo foo slot nlow"

"They've done studies... 60% of the time every time it works EVERY TIME!"

*Pulls out cell phone... "You don't mind if I take a selfie of the two of us, do you?"

"Ok, so now we're going to have to leave this in here for a few days."

*Holds vial up and reads label... "Expired? I thought these were in date..."

*Rubs finger and thumb on chin: "I can't remember... did I use this needle already?"

"Now you get to pick a prize from this red container that says 'Sharps' on it!"

"Whoa... what's that THING on your skin?!"

*Holds syringe up to the light and shakes it... "I wonder how THAT got in there?"

"Hold on... this vial says DISTEMPER. I was suppose to give you a flu shot, right?"

"Maybe I should have washed my hands first?"

"Ok, only three more and we're done!"

"Well of course you can get the flu from the flu shot! Isn't that why you're here?!"

"Wow, you should have seen how much that last guy bled!"

"Ok, hold still. This is the first shot I've ever given!"

"You don't mind me using a recycled needle, do you?"

"Oh, this should start working in about 8-10 months or so."

"The biggest side effect is permanent impotence."

"This is going to hurt, a LOT."

"Aw crap, that one didn't work. I'll have to do it over again."

"Wow, that was one big air bubble..."

*Squeezing around arm... "Wow, you really have no muscle, do you?"

"Oh shoot, it looks like your co-pay is $1,000 this month."

"Uh oh! The needle is stuck!"

"Would you like a painless needle or painful needle?"

"Rabies shot, right?"

"Did you want a new needle or a recycled needle?"

Attention Patient: Let's Get this Straight

When your doctor prescribes a medication for you, it is ONLY for you. Every prescription has this warning on it somewhere:

It's not for your spouse, your kids, your dog, your neighbor, your cousin, a friend in need, or anyone else.

It's for YOU.

Medications are dangerous. Medications treat specific conditions. You are NOT a doctor, and it is NOT up to you (or appropriate) to diagnose the condition of another person.

Too many people give some or all of their medication to another person, usually their spouse. Some are sneaky about it, others are quite open about it. I've even worked with pharmacists that suggest it to patients like it is their place to do that. It's not.

I've even had people call me up at the pharmacy and tell me their spouse's or child's condition and then say, "How should I dose this _____ medication I have here? I can use that to treat this condition, right?"

I don't answer questions like that. There's a million things that could go wrong and patient safety is THE most important aspect of our job.

So if you're a patient that is giving YOUR medication to a spouse, child, or whoever, STOP. You're not a medical professional. What if the person you're giving it to has an allergy to the medication? You could risk their life while you're "playing doctor." Just don't do it.

If you're a pharmacist that's suggesting to patients that they give their medication to another person, STOP. You know better. I'm sure your drug knowledge is top notch and your advice might be accurate, but it is not your place. Just don't do it.

I Swear You Can't Make This Stuff Up

A lady with two daughters, one age 14, one age 12, comes to Goofmart Pharmacy for flu shots.

The 12-year-old is already crying. This is going to be fun.

"We need to get flu shots," mom says.

"I want FluMist!" age 12 says, stammering.

"We don't have FluMist," I say.

Mom says they'll be happy to get regular flu shots. The 12-year-old starts bawling again. "I...I...I don't wanna flu shot. I want FluMissssst," she proclaims, pointing at her nose.

Mom starts filling out the forms while I process the claims. People are starting to line up at the pick up window. Thanks to the incredible brain trust known as The Authorities, we don't have any extra help even though our workload is increased during flu shot season.

I run down to the pick up window and the first person in line is a new patient picking up an antibiotic. I had the prescription ready to go. I just needed the correct billing information. She hands me a card and I quickly type it all in. I have sausages for fingers but I'm quite nimble on the keyboard. Naturally, it doesn't go through on the insurance card she handed me.

"Do you have a separate card for prescriptions?" I ask.

"Nope. That's all I have. I just came from the doctor's office. They used that," she replies.

"Yes. This is your medical card. You must have a separate card for your prescriptions."

"Nope," she says again, arguing with me. "That's all I have."

"I'll have to call and find out, but right now I have to do these flu shots."

The lady rolls her eyes and says she'll do some shopping. How kind of her.

So flu shot lady comes up with her very calm 14-year-old and a 12-year-old bawling brat.

"I wannnnnnnt FluMissssssst," she blubbers out with tears rolling down her face.

I get them signed out then ask them to wait in our expensive waiting room. I help another lady at the register while the insurance card lady strolls by and asks me if her's is ready. Really? It's been like five minutes.

I get the shots ready. Mom and daughter number one are incredibly impressed with my gentle flu shots. If there was a contest, I'd win first prize. I'm King of the flu shot jabbers. All hail to the King.

Then the blubbering, bawling 12-year-old comes in. Mom holds her hand. She blubbers harder when I roll up her sleeve. I inject her has gently as I can but she makes a scene like I just stabbed her with Jon Snow's Longclaw.

"I wannnnnted FluMissssssst," she belts out, one last time, holding her severely wounded arm. Oh, the humanity of it all!

I swear you can't make this stuff up.

What I wanted to say: "And this year's overacting award goes to... 12-year-old."

What I did say: "You're going to feel really silly about this later."

I step back into the pharmacy where insurance lady is standing at the pick up window staring at me.

"Did you get that insurance thing fixed?" she asked, like I was just in the magic "insurance fix it" room.

I swear you can't make this stuff up.

I tell her I haven't even had a chance to call and step over to the phone. I call her medical insurance people and they direct me to her pharmacy benefit manager because THEY DON'T HANDLE her prescriptions. I get her pharmacy insurance, process the claim, and head toward the register.

"Your pharmacy benefits are provided by ESI," I tell her. She looks at me, not the least bit embarrassed or sorry in any way and says, "Oh, you mean this card here," she says, pulling out her ESI card. She tries to hand me the card NOW, after I've already processed the claim.

I swear you can't make this stuff up.

Laugh and Laugh at this Collection of Funnies

 

Dumber and Dumber

The new sequel to Dumb and Dumber (1994) came out yesterday, showing that Hollywood truly has run out of ideas.

True Story:

In 1995, some friends came to stay with my family for a week. One Friday evening they said we should rent a movie and watch it. I said sure, you pick the movie, I'll bring it home from Blockbuster. Their choice? Dumb and Dumber.

So we watched the movie. No one laughed. We all just sat there, appalled at the tripe presented to us. I don't even think we finished the movie it was that bad. The next morning our friends left early before we even got up for the day. On top the VCR was the tape we watched the night before, along with a $5 bill and a note that merely said, "Sorry."

Our friends felt so bad for recommending the movie they felt like they should pay me back for renting it. Now how's that for evidence of a bad movie?

And New Line Cinema made another one? Really?