Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Miss Loosey has a Pimple

Miss Loosey was back again for more free advice from the pharmacist.

Today's issue is a pimple on her upper lip. She's convinced it is cancer. She's always convinced she has cancer. No matter what condition she has, the first thing out of her mouth is, "Is it cancer?"

I assure her that I have no idea what it is BUT that I'm also sure it looks like a pimple AND that it is not cancer.

"But it just appeared overnight!" she retorts. "Doesn't cancer do that?"

No, I tell her. I admit that I'm not up to date on all forms of cancer and their growth rates, but I'm pretty sure it's not cancer.

Miss Loosey reaches into her Michael Kors handbag to find her iPhone 6s. It's easy to find because it is inside the most elaborate iPhone case I've ever seen -- jewel encrusted fanciness. Oh, did I mention Miss Loosey is on Medicaid?

Anyway, among the other things in her person is a carton of Marlboro's.

All these years Miss Loosey has been bugging me about every little bump and skin flap and now pimples... when the real thing she should be worried about are these cancer sticks she's sucking on every day.

Will someone PLEASE douse me with a bucket of cold water?


Anonymous said...

Think of the scrips she'll be bringing in before long. If it wasn't for smokers, fat-asses, and dumbshits our numbers wouldn't be nearly as good as they are! There, feel better?

Anonymous said...

Bet she was wearing gold shoes.