Monday, June 2, 2014

Vincent the Menace

Vincent is an old dude in his own motorized wheelchair. I call him a menace because I swear he's had this chair souped up with more power. 

That thing really zips around and turns on a dime. Vincent, 84 years old, zooms all around the grocery at super speed, zipping around corners without checking to see if anyone is coming the other direction.

So far, no one's been hurt.

But what's really "fun" about Vincent is that he has a condition which prevents him from speaking clearly. He points and says odd words and just expects you to figure out what he's asking or saying. 

The other day he came in with a new prescription. We filled it, and as he was leaving he asked the technician something in his usual jibberish. We had no idea what he was asking, except that he kept pointing to his genital area and making different motions with his fingers.

There was no interaction with his new medication and his private parts. The med had nothing to do with that part of his body. So we were perplexed and getting nervous because the other thing about Vincent... he loses his temper easily (probably because of his frustration with not being able to communicate what he wants) and we knew that bomb was about to go off.
Finally, I had a brainstorm! With what I think he was saying in jibberish and his pointing, I was certain I had figured it out. I'm extra smart, you know ~ a legend in my own mind.

"You want a bedpan?" I asked.

Vincent's left eye squinted. His lip curled in disgust. "Noooooooooooooo!!!" He flipped the switch on his scooter, it spun wildly to the left, and he zoomed off, knocking over a couple of things on the counter as he left.

Apparently it wasn't a bedpan that he wanted.


Anonymous said...

he wanted jock its cream...

Anonymous said...

Can he not write down his questions on a bit of scrap paper? I have to do that with our deaf patients since I don't know sign language.

Unknown said...

Years ago I worked for a chain store near a college campus. Lots of foreign students. Played lots of charades to figure out what they wanted if they didn't bring an interpreter LOL. I took French in HS and college so I could kinda make out some smatterings of Spanish, but Asian was out. I now have a translator app on my phone. Best one was a Chinese student came in looking for diarrhea medicine, told me by pointing to his butt and doing'rasberry sounds" with his tongue. My tech could barely hold in her laughter.

Anonymous said...

Didn't know Asian was a language o.O ...