Why Your Pharmacist is Bald

It's the evening... when all the weirdest crap always happens...

Ring ring ring

"Goofmart Pharmacy, this is Crazy RxMan, how may I help you?"

"Yes, sonny, my name is Doug. I'm out here staying at the Snootyville Hotel and dog gone it I forgot my medication. It's back home in [state next door]."

"Well I'm sure we can help..." I start to say when I'm interrupted...

"What I need you to do, sonny, is give me one tablet of Inderal 20mg and one tablet of Warfarin 6mg until I get my doctor to call in a new prescription in the morning for a week supply. I'll be by in about 15 minutes, ok, sonny?"

"Uh... no. I'm going to need to verify the medication with your pharmacy at home or your doctor before I can just hand out medication. What's the name of your pharmacy at home?" I ask.

"Listen sonny, I've done this before. The other pharmacy didn't have any problem giving me a tablet for the night. My pharmacy is closed anyway, and my doctor's office is closed too."

"I'm not comfortable just giving out medication at the word of the patient. I mean no offense to you, but you've just told me you've forgotten your medication, and you've actually said that you've forgotten it twice in the past. How am I to know with any certainty that you have the medication and strength correct?" I tell him, as politely as possible.

Doug, clearly getting impatient now, retorts, "Look sonny, NOT giving me my medication CAN cause me harm. Giving me one tablet of these medications WOULD NOT harm me." Doug thinks he's got me on logic.

"I couldn't disagree more, Doug." I retorted. "If any of what you've told me about your medication is incorrect it could have devastating effects."

"Oh come on!" he spit back at me. "How could that be true?"

"Doug, I could sit here for an hour trying to explain to you the effects of Warfarin, but I'd rather try to spend the time trying to get a hold of your doctor and verifying your medications and dosage."

Doug reluctantly gives me his doctor's phone number. I call and get the answering service. I explain the situation, they put me hold to call the doctor, then return a few minutes later to tell me it can wait until the morning and to call the office then.

I call Doug and explain the situation to him. I tell him that if the doctor doesn't think it is a critical situation that can't be handled in the morning. Doug accepts defeat and agrees to come by the pharmacy in the morning.

The next morning I call the office. Doug was completely WRONG on the doses. The Warfarin was 3mg, not 6mg. The Inderal was 10mg, not 20mg. I get new scripts and get them ready for Doug.

Doug shows up. I tell him, without any hint of "I told you so" attitude that he had the dosages incorrect. Doug looked me right in the eye and replied....

"So what?"