Thursday, December 29, 2016

Crisis Averted at the Goofmart

Sometimes a sour-faced, obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass patient can come in handy.

Robert ManOwar came in to pick up his medication, in the evening, after all the techs have gone home, AND on a day where I'm working the second shift. And of course, I've missed the first half of the day and am completely blind to most of the issues that happened earlier.

Such is the case with Mr. ManOwar. He's asking for a medication that should be on the shelf waiting for him. It isn't, and there's no explanation why. This happens a lot at my Goofmart, and I've become used to the fact it just makes me look stupid even though I'm not the person at fault. Blaming someone else even when it really is their fault just makes you look like the bad guy. Deal with it.

So while I'm trying to figure out this mess, another sour-faced, obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass patient has entered the line. Instead of patiently waiting by the sign that clearly reads "Please WAIT HERE to preserve patient privacy," she has crept up and is practically breathing down the neck of Mr. ManOwar. He looks at me. I look at him. I look at Mrs. Welldone. She looks back at me. I look back at Mr. ManOwar. They look at each other. It was like a stand off in a Quentin Tarantino film.

I don't want to engage either of them. This is an explosive combination. If this goes off it would wipe out the entire block. So I quickly run away to fill Mr. ManOwar's prescription... you know, the ONE that should be on the shelf but there's no explanation why.

I'm further away but the tension is all over the place. My pulse quickens. I feel a lump in my throat.

Mr. ManOwar can't handle her intrusion into his space. He says, "I'll be done in a moment."

Mrs. Welldone says, "I'm next in line."

Mr. ManOwar says, "You need to step back."

Mrs. Welldone steps back one step. "Does this make you happy?"

Mr. ManOwar says, "See that sign right there? That is where YOU should be standing."

Mrs. Welldone rolls her eyes. She steps back to the sign. Apparently she did see the sign but thought if she pushed up close to the first person in line that would make everything go faster.

She asks, "Are you happy now?"

Mr. ManOwar replies, "Yes. That is where you should have been standing to begin with."

Mrs. Welldone rolls her eyes again.

Crisis averted... all weapon systems stand down. Roll back to DEFCON 3. Recall the fighters.

And now you see the value of the sour-faced, obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass patient. You can clearly use them to fight off other sour-faced, obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass patients. That is the power and resource you can use to your advantage. Remember that, my friends.


Anonymous said...

On the rare occasion that I was lucky enough to have one customer turn against another, it generated a complaint.

The customer that got put in her place was so butthurt that she called and complained that I had not stopped the other customer from humiliating her.

AND, I got in trouble for it too. Try to wrap your head around that.

Anonymous said...

Well played, sir, well played.