Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The Reality of 30 Extra Steps

A few years ago we had a major remodel to the pharmacy. The layout of the pharmacy was completely changed and as a result it became a race track with a huge number of added steps to perform the same simple tasks. And when I say "steps" I'm being literal. It requires a lot more footwork to do the same thing.

By our calculations it now takes at least 30 extra paces to go to will call and check out a patient on their medication. Don't worry. We can handle the extra physical work. But when the RPM first came by to inspect the remodel, pharmacy manager Mickey told her that it is a lot more work, step-wise, to get a patient out the door.

I was there and witnessed the conversation, and what I'm about to tell you is absolutely true: The RPM insisted that there are no extra steps with the new layout. She was completely adamant that no extra pacing was involved. So Mickey goes to the filling station and starts counting as he walks to the will call and then to the register. "See?" he says to her. "That's at least 15 extra steps from the old layout."

Ahhh, but Mickey was not aware that the RPM (and apparently all Goofmart Authorities) must have complete control over time and space. They have Q's ability to manipulate the very fabric of the universe. For were that not true, there would be no way she could make her reply statement: "No, that's wrong. It's not any more steps than before the remodel." She said this just after he paced it out and counted the steps for her. Obviously, Mickey was unaware that the RPM was controlling time and space, and had it completely wrong.

But somehow I doubt Goofmart Authorities can control time and space. They seem to be unable to tie their shoelaces most days.

Maybe there is a simple explanation. Our RPM must have been well aware of Zeno's Paradox. That's the only way she could have made her claim. "Why there's not any extra work involved with this remodel! Oh, no, you're wrong! You never actually made it from the filling station to the register? Why? Because you had to first go half the distance to the register, and then half of that, and then half of that... etc., etc. ~ ergo you never actually made it to the register therefore your claim is invalid!"
But people seem to get where they're going all the time so it can't be that.

The third possibility is that our beloved RPM was just repeating a canned answer thought up by upper managers in the ivory towers to address the simple questions by such simple idiots... you know, us pharmacists in the trenches. Instead of admitting to anything, just tell them they're wrong. Thirty extra steps? No. You're wrong.

And yet these people want us to trust them when they tell us they're doing all they can to get us more tech hours. 



Susan in Dallas said...

Alternative facts.

Anonymous said...

The simple fact is that 'corporate lies.'

They lie to make sure they make their year-end bonus. Just see what these idiots do when some upper-level boss is due to do a store visit.

They lie to make sure you stay in line.

They lie to placate you while having no intention to help you out since it would cut into their precious bonus/salary/whatever.

They lie because they simply do not give a crap about customers, patients or their own employees. All they care about is turning a profit.

Behold, the death of a profession.

May I help who's next?