Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Inebriated Innoculation

The devil inside me made an appearance recently.

It happened when this guy stumbled up to the pharmacy counter.

"I want an flu shot," he said, smelling heavily of alcohol and slurring his words. And yes, he did say "an" instead of "a."

I'm not one to lecture people about their drinking activities. At least he's not out there getting a tattoo on his face, right? But because I don't think he's in any shape to fill out a flu shot form, or that it would be legal, I'm trying to think of a way to talk him out of it.

"Do you have insurance?" I ask.

"Suuuure, I have insuuuurance," he says, then starts laughing at the two similar sounds that just came out of his mouth.

He pulls out our state-funded (which is ultimately tax-payer funded) Medicaid card. There's my out. In my state, a patient with Medicaid has to get their flu shot through their primary care provider. I can't give him a flu shot with that insurance. I can't bill it. It will just come back "Patient must see PCP."

Now here comes the fun part... which is trying to explain it to him. He's very drunk, and by the looks of him (sorry, this is purely just my bias) likely has a low IQ. I know it is going to be difficult, but I try anyway.

And as it turns out, he didn't get it. Then he gets angry and starts swearing at me. He started calling me names... unkind names... using language you don't use around your mother. I don't recall everything he said... something about his momma and his dog. But thing I do remember is that he ended his tirade by saying:

"Besides, they told me I only have a year to live!"

The demon immediately spoke up, telling him that the tax-payers are paying for his health care and that we have to follow the state protocols regarding it... and then I finished up by saying:

"Besides, if you only have a year to live, why do you care if you get a flu shot?"

The drunk guy was startled, called me more names, and walked away. Then he walked back, pushed his way in front of a patient in line, demanded to know my name, then stumbled his way to the manager of the store. I never heard anymore about it. 

The demon inside of me has been quiet ever since.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You should have stated at the beginning of the post that you are his mother! 😁