Monday, February 8, 2016

Slow Down There, Cowboy!

In Snootyville, not just the patients are snooty-snoots. Some of the doctors and their office staff are too.

We have a doctor's assistant that calls in prescriptions. She will not leave a message, use e-script, or fax. No, she punches through to the pharmacy (which has a very annoying ring on our side but that's another story).

Once I'm on the phone with her, she immediately starts spitting off the info for a new script for a patient. Most of the time I can keep up, but sometimes not. Then she's perturbed if I ask her to repeat something.

The other day, though, she must have had a case of Red Bulls or something because she was rattling off a new script at 90 mph (that's 145 kph for you folks on the metric system). I couldn't keep up and the little demon inside me said:

"Whoa! Slow down there, Cowboy!"

Big mistake. She became intensely angry. "I am NOT a cowboy! How dare you use such derogatory language with me!" She finished her Red-Bull-induced rattling and hung up.

The next day the manager had to have a talk with me. This lady called back to lodge a complaint about my horrible reference to her as a "cowboy."


I'm convinced that I live in some weird dimension that has blended with the real world that the rest of you live in. I get the weirdest, craziest complaints over NOTHING, and it happens way too often to be a coincidence.


Anonymous said...

Well, I am offended that she was offended by the cowboy reference! I am a pharmacist and a real life cowgirl when lives on a cattle and goat farm. Haha! But seriously, how was it an offensive term?

Anonymous said...

She just earned herself the patented extra careful slow prescription writing.

Nurse: Patient's name is John Doe. Date of birth 1-1-1900. Medicine is OldFart 50mg bid prn...
Me: John.... Doe. How do you spell 'Doe'?
Nurse: D-O-E
Me: Ok thanks. Date of birth you said was 1-1-...what year?
Nurse: 1900
Me: Wow, 1900. Ok, got it. What was the drug again?

Continue like this until satisfaction is achieved. If they hang up, call back and tell them you didn't get XYZ important info. If you have to leave a message, document on a sticky note so when the patient comes in you can explain to them that the nurse didn't give you all the info and won't return your phone calls, and you can't dispense the medicine until they do.

Paybacks a bitch. Work that mistress to your advantage.

Anonymous said...

Next time the little twit gets annoyed at repeating information that might be important to maintain patient safety, tell her that you have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder and you are greatly offended that she is giving you attitude regarding your need to have information delivered slowly and clearly because of your ADD. Then suggest you might file a grievance with the authorities because she is clearly generating a hostile work environment by disrespecting your disability.

Unknown said...

I think the vowel in "twit" is wrong. I believe you meant to use the letter two vowels earlier in the alphabet.

I think she was offended at "cowboy" because she prefers "cowgirl" as in "reverse".

I used to work in our local "Snootyville", but ours had nothing on yours.