Monday, June 5, 2017

The Garage Sale

Crazy RxMan decided to have a garage sale.

Crazy RxMan doesn't like garage sales.

Something about garage sales and yard sales or moving sales or estate sales or whatever you want to call "Come Look at our Junk and Buy Some" sales brings out the weirdos and cheapos of the universe.

Granted, if something is used then you can't expect a full retail price on it. You expect to take pennies on the dollar for it. That's fine.

However, if the item is in decent shape or has some sort of intrinsic value, then it's a different story. And every time I've had a garage sale in the past there's always something that mistakenly made it's way to the sale table (like Woody in Toy Story 2)... something that actually has value. I know it, and the guy trying to dicker on it knows it too. And these people can't be reasoned with or bargained with. They think they're going to give you a few bucks for something really valuable and that's the way it goes. 

A guy found a necklace we had given grandma many years ago... a handmade sterling silver necklace. After grandma passed it made it's way back to our possession. I know it's value because I know the jewelry business better than most people. This necklace has at least two ounces of sterling silver in it, so at a pawn shop they'd offer you $30-35 for it just for the spot silver value at today's silver prices. 

But this guy was clever thinking he was going to get it for $10. He wouldn't stop pestering me. "Come on, man, ten bucks cash right here," he said, waving the $10 bill in front of me. When I explained the situation with the price of silver he didn't seem to get it or pretended to be stupid. Finally I had to take the necklace into the house so he would leave.

Then there was a guy looking for old Disney movies on VHS, and we have a bunch. In fact, I have a big box full of VHS tapes of all genres, including Disney movies. I told him, take the whole box for $20. Nope. He dug through the entire box, counting the tapes, until he found a copy of Fantasia on VHS in the original clam shell.

"Well I did some quick math," he said. At $20 for the whole box that's about 20 cents a tape. He hands me 20 cents. I was stunned. I threw the coins into the corner of the garage as he was leaving.

But my favorite story of the day revolves around a guy that was looking for shelving units and plastic stackable bins. He saw on one side of the garage a plastic shelving unit. 

"Ten bucks," I said.

"I was thinking a little less than that," he said.

"Ok, a little less is $9," I said. 

"How about $5?"

"Ok, make it go away."

Oh, he made it go away... AFTER he asked my son to get him a bucket and a sponge. He proceeded to spend THE NEXT HOUR carefully cleaning the shelving unit in the middle of the garage.

I had to get a picture of this, so I did:

Please, someone euthanize me. Please.


Anonymous said...

A garage sale is kinda like inviting your "best" pharmacy customers over to hang out.

Anonymous said...

We had a garage sale once upon a time. The item in the story was a child's toy cowboy hat. I'm not certain of what it was made other than it wasn't plastic. We were asking a quarter for it. A woman with a very thick accent held the hat up to my ex-wife's face and exclaimed she would only pay twelve cents for it. Penny told her, "Fine," and held out her hand into which the woman dropped a quarter. She wrapped her fingers around it and said,"I'm sorry but we can't make change for so little. Do you have the exact amount?"

Anonymous said...

I would rather put all my $h!t in a big pile in the front yard and set it ablaze than have a garage sale and have to interact with all the cheap phucks of the world.