Saturday, August 11, 2018

Miss Loosey and the Pastie Predicament

Ring... Ring...

Crazy RxMan: "Hello and THANK YOU for calling Goofmart Pharmacy, where we set up your date to vaccinate! How may I help you today?"

Miss Loosey: "Crazy! This is Miss Loosey! I have a prescription for DDS cream! Do you have it in stock? Can I come get it now?! I need it right away!"

CR: "I think you mean SSD cream. Yes, I have it in..."

ML: "I'll be right there!" <click>

My thought process: DDS cream, now that would be funny. Dentist cream. Yeah, that's pretty funny. Oh look, something shiny over by the deli.

Miss Loosey runs up to the pharmacy PICK UP window and slaps down the prescription for SSD cream. I'm typing up the prescription...

"Are you ok?" I ask, seeing the diagnosis. In retrospect, I should have just kept my mouth shut and filled the prescription.

"I put pasties on my nipples and now they're burning! It hurts like hell."

"I'll get this for you right away," I respond, not asking any more questions. I run a claim. Our state Medicaid pays for the SSD cream for the burn of an unspecified body region... her Pastie Predicament.

As hard as it was, I did keep a straight face... and I stared right into her eyes as she signed for the medication, despite my wanting to look down. I promise you I did.


was1 said...

tasty pasties... maybe she was planning a ditaesque dance routine for you.

Galaxy_Jane said...

I am often convinced that face-control in medicine is highly under-rated. I particularly remember a day that the Public Health nurse was in my office trying to settle herself while crying out through the tears of laughter "Jesus, school my face, Jesus, school my face!" One of our young men had came to her to find out if his symptoms had been caused by overzealous use of Old Spice as an, um, aid.